2019 match archiveBottom Paddock
Saturday February 23 in Masterton
Strollers lost by six wickets
Strollers 171-5
(20 overs; Levermore 37no, Timperley 35no, Scanlon 29, Swale 27)
Bottom Paddock 175-4
(17.2 overs; Thomas 2-12, Scanlon 1-12, Ovenden 1-21)
Saturday dawned and all eyes were turned skywards around Masterton. Most of these were for the visiting crowds preparing for the biennial Wings Over Wairarapa Air Show; however, our Exiled Strollers scanned grey skies and rain radar maps to determine whether a game would proceed.
Previous day intel from skipper and match manager Piers Ovenden had said all would be well. He had not taken into account the baggage handlers at Heathrow. Tim Swan arrived in Wellington at 2am on the Saturday direct from Heathrow minus his bags, thereby requiring whites, shoes and also a suit for the wedding he was attending on the Sunday.
At midday the unmistakable stripes of Strollers blazers starting emerging from cars under the trees beside Bottom Paddock’s idyllic ground. Two debutants were introduced: Luke Malpass, in town for the aforementioned wedding, and Bengy Barsanti, recently returned to New Zealand from his semi-professional rugby career in Glasgow and Italy.
The rain radar confidently predicted that by 4pm any thoughts of cricket would be over. A T20 game was mooted. There were mutterings as to whether this would still classify as a first-class fixture. Where were our T20 specialists? Would Piers even agree to play ‘that’ format?
*A call was put in to Lord’s where club president Maggie Patston ruled that as it was a normal 40-over game reduced to 20 overs a side because of inclement weather, it would be officially classified as a first class fixture. A straight 20-over knockabout would not have qualified – a subtle, but significant, distinction.
News filtered through from Wings Over Wairarapa that the B52 bomber scheduled to fly over at 2pm had suffered mechanical issues on its flight from Guam and had diverted to Australia. The New Zealand Air Force was stepping into the breach, prompting comment from some wags. Interestingly the B52 bomber had planned to fly direct from Guam to carry out the flyover and then on to Australia to land and refuel, never touching down in NZ. This was supposedly due to a shortage of adequate runways.
By this time Swan was trying on suits, settling on a snug grey number that would get him through the next day. The toss was lost. Piers actually saw this as a blessing given there was no coin and the toss was decided by the less well known game of ‘guess which hand the rabbit s***t is in’. The Strollers would bat.
Glen Scanlon and Malpass strode out to the crease. Early nerves were settled as both of them started to unravel glorious shots through the off side. The outfield was parched and fast except for an area behind the bowler at the far end where there was particularly luscious grass as a result of the flooded water race several weeks earlier. This reduced the scoring and we were to be given a lesson later on by the BP batsmen – in short, hit it over the grass and take that area out of the equation.
Malpass fell to a good catch and Reuben Levermore entered, playing a more sedate hand to Scanlon’s ever-expansive innings. As he approached 30 (retire in the over you get to 30) he selflessly hit out to try and maximise the scoring and fell for a well-made 29. James Timperley joined Levermore and they shortly had the run rate moving in the right direction – this was aided by Glen (now umpiring) informing Reuben that we were playing a T20 and not a 40-over match…
Timperley retired with 35 from 17 balls and Levermore followed him an over later with a fine 37. There was a tactical issue as we now had two new batsmen at the crease. Then came our B52 moment: a (very) quick single saw Doran Wyatt on the ground at the striker’s end. The initial assessment was he was winded but as he struggled to get to his feet it became apparent it was far more serious than that. A torn hamstring and 6-8 weeks’ recovery was the end result. Devastating news for us both with the bat and the ball but also for his family who had made the trip over the hill to see Dad play ‘international’ cricket.
Speaking of international cricket, Mike Morgan was providing updates live from Bridgetown with the advice to follow Sheldon Cottrell’s wicket celebrations. Our skipper’s thoughts, though, were more focused on how he was to replace his opening bowler.
The innings lost some momentum and our eventual total of 171 was short of the 200+ score we had been targeting – despite some amusing shuttle running between Eric Swale and Andrew Thomas.
Three overs into their batting effort and it was clear we were going to have to bowl very well. Man of the Match Jackson Wallace (aka Jacko) took a liking to balls on a good length and also showed us how local knowledge can make a big difference as he regularly made use of the tree at mid-wicket gaining six runs for each attempt (the Strollers had not managed to even hit the tree).
Thomas showed good pace, and Levermore used his flight and guile to stem the run rate. We edged back into the contest. Despite Jacko’s retirement the runs kept coming as our yorkers and slow bouncers did not yield the desired result. Two wickets in an over late in the day from Thomas brought hope but Chris Jeffries crashed a couple of balls over the stream and dangerously close to his new ute which brought the game to an end with two overs to go.
There was much reflection post-match. Some took to the secret pool to try and wash the loss away, whilst others chatted whilst reaching for a beer. Our hosts were as hospitable as ever with plenty of food coming from the BBQ…and no rain!
It was left for Piers to sum up in the post-match presentation with a lament to the fact that our all-conquering T20 side (Rbo, Glen Oliver, Aidan Selby et al) was hibernating in the UK but he noted how refreshing it was to play a game in the same spirit that we had encountered across the villages of The Old Country. As always it had been a wonderful day. We would love to return in 2020 with the need to notch that first Strollers victory on New Zealand soil.
Capt: Piers Ovenden. Wkt: James Timperley/Bengy Barsanti.
Match report: James Timperley.
Marlow Park
Sunday April 28 in Marlow
Strollers won by six wickets
Marlow Park 58
(15.5 overs; Colbeck 4-9, Hodgson 3-4, Williams 2-17, Keightley 1-26)
Strollers 59-4
(20.1 overs; Robertson 26, Rory Wood 16)
What a match! What a start to the season! What superb performances all round: Ryan Duff hit 6, 4, 4, 4, from his first four balls, Richard Keightley rattled the stumps twice in two deliveries, Tom Colbeck made hay with the bat, while Aidan Selby scored 44 not out, chalked up three stumpings then came on to bowl to take the final wicket in a glorious victory.
It’s just a shame none of it ever really happened…
Seven hours earlier:
“How’s the form?” said Colbeck to Duff as they zipped along the Westway. It would be Duff’s first appearance on a cricket field since August 2017 and that snapped achilles tendon at Stanton by Dale - 20 months in which he passed the time by becoming a father and moving back to New Zealand. Having undertaken a precautionary net session, Duffers confirmed the foot was in good working order and he was primed and ready for action/sitting with pads on.
Duff’s injury meant he missed the visit to Marlow Park in 2018. Colbeck had packed accordingly with a woolly hat, but the conditions were, if not exactly warm, then not polar either. Skipper Alastair Macaulay took a look at the overcast sky and duly elected to bowl. Good choice.
Lachlan Williams and Keightley opened up, and the first wicket of the summer was not long in coming. Many a coach would say it’s important to set the tone in the field early in the season, so when the Marlow batsman, facing Lachy, hit a steepler towards cover, Rbo’s first move was to fall over. Luckily the ball was still heading skywards, so he had time to get up, take the catch and fall over again while doing so. Quite an opening gambit in the race for fielder of the year, as things go.
Keightley would soon take another catch, this time retaining his footing, as a tidy outswinger from Williams induced a false drive from batsman Pete Stephens, who had struck a few lusty blows to take Marlow Park to 31-2.
It was clearly a good wicket to get and put the Strollers on top. Still, it had been a fairly even, uneventful start to the innings. Then Macaulay gave Colbeck the nod and 5.4 overs of madness began.
In his earlier conversation with Duff, Colbeck had confessed to an indifferent off-season, but when you have TC’s uncanny knack of taking wickets with your worst deliveries, too much netting can actually be something of a disadvantage. His first over was something of a warm-up, conceding a few runs but gaining a wicket from an edge to Selby behind the stumps (32-3).
Next over, Keightley got in on the act when Pete Robertson showed him how catches should really be taken, stretching out a long arm at short cover to pluck the ball from the air (43-4).
Back to Colbeck, now getting in the groove: a lovely, well-flighted delivery was misjudged by batsman Ben Ralphs (top scorer with 20) who attempted to sweep, missed and was plumb lbw. “A proper wicket,” said the delighted bowler (48-5). Next up, a miscued pull and another fine catch for Robertson, this time at midwicket. Colbeck sent the batsman on his way with an apologetic smile (48-6).
He then craftily spotted a gap in the field at slip as Jim Hodgson came on to bowl. Where else was the ball going to go? Unable to keep himself from the centre of the action, Colbeck dived at a low, wide edge and clung for a quite brilliant one-handed catch (48-7) - then dusted himself down to take his fourth wicket, bowled (50-8).
Hodgson wrapped up the innings with two wickets in four balls - Keightley claiming his third catch of the innings - to depart the field with the enviable figures of 1.4-0-4-3.
Marlow Park had been dismissed for 58 - some way from being the smallest total against the Strollers, but a fine piece of work nonetheless. “The season can only go downhill from here,” said Selby.
It was a difficult run chase to judge, with the pitch offering a bit of movement and the hosts’ opening bowlers Ralphs and Stephens giving away few opportunities for run-scoring. Young Marlow Park leg-spinner Joe Haggan - a school team-mate of Finlay Perrin - also impressed with a particularly tidy spell.
Robertson and Rory Wood therefore put a high price on their wickets (one near-suicidal attempt at a single aside) and nudged the score along to within 10 of victory, when it took an incredible piece of fielding from Stephens - catching the ball on the dive with the ball dropping over his shoulder - to remove Robertson for 26.
Wood then departed caught & bowled for 16, at which point there was still enough time for a small middle order collapse as Selby and Laurie Allsopp both copped first-ballers (Selby fulfilling his earlier prediction). However, the calm heads of Williams (4*) and Keightley (1*) prevailed and wrapped up the run chase by barely half-past three.
The only other incident of note was one for collectors of odd Strollers statistics: as the wickets tumbled, Ryan made the sudden unpleasant discovery that he was next man in, having already changed out of his whites. This being so, did it count as Duffers Pad Time?
With so much of the afternoon left, the hosts proposed a 20-over, retire-at-40 beer match - the events referred to at the top of the match report. The second Strollers victory of the afternoon won’t make the club annals, of course, but in future years those present will at least have the memories of Duff’s thumping return to form with the bat (42 not out), Selby giving those other Kiwi keeper-batsmen a run for their money (“If only these stumpings counted,” said Hodgson, “you might beat Mike Morgan’s record before Hamish”) and Colbeck notching his fifth wicket of the afternoon to go with his swashbuckling 41 runs. It should be noted that even though he didn’t technically record a Michelle, he still bought a jug. Now that’s a team player.
Capt: Alastair Macaulay. Wkt: Aidan Selby.
Match fees: Tom Colbeck. Match report: Laurie Allsopp.
Jordans Taverners
Sunday May 12 in Coleshill
Strollers won by 112 runs
Strollers 217-7
(40 overs; Oliver 79no, Sam Brodbeck 41, Loan 34, Pittams 13, Colbeck 13, Swan 10, Robertson 10)
Jordans Taverners 105
(27.1 overs; Wall 3-17, Colbeck 2-33, Lachlan Williams 1-14, Robertson 1-15, Hodgson 1-30)
The weather came out, the picturesque views of the windmill came in and Rob Wall's shirt came off. This was followed immediately by a poised Glen Oliver stood proudly over the seemingly flat and hard wicket in the centre of this amazing ground, waiting quietly and in reverent pause for the opponents’ captain to join him for the toss.
Glen being captain today and having clearly not practised his tossing at home, came away with another flipping loss which is most likely a Guinness world record achievement with nobody in the squad remembering a time he had ever won a toss, despite him claiming one win in the last 19.
Tim Swan and Mike Loan opened the batting, Tim looking literally dressed by Glen following an urgent morning phone call for extra whites and Mike a composed Athertonesque presence. The opposition opened with spin and pace in a bold early move. The start was good and both batsmen managed to push the singles and keep the score ticking over for the initial stages, only offering the odd chance but keeping wickets in hand.
Tim was dismissed for a hard-fought 10, which brought Sam Brodbeck to the middle, whose claims of potential poor batting performance from lack of practice, were completely irrelevant as he controlled the start of our innings with an ease of strokeplay alongside Loan. Mike played a controlled innings but unfortunately was dismissed, leg before, for 34 after an excellent partnership with Sam.
Sam continued scoring freely with no real value for shots on the slow outfield so plenty of running between wickets ensued. Aidan Selby was troubled by the variable bounce the pitch offered but fell early to a climbing delivery taken by the Jordans Taverners first slip in a manner not seen often at this level. Excellent catch.
This brought Oliver to the crease, who was well and truly warmed up for his innings and showed it too, with an untroubled high scoring knock of 79 not out, steering the innings to a very competitive total. The Oliver/Brodbeck partnership ended with Brodbeck dismissed for 41 by a Macaulayesque delivery from the opposition’s Stair doppelganger claiming his bails as he tried to increase the scoring rate with some flashy strokeplay.
Oliver combined with Mike Pittams, Pete Robertson, Tom Colbeck and Lachlan Williams for the remaining runs, with the Strollers amassing a respectable 217-7 from the 40 overs.
After an enticing tea break, filled with banter, food and most importantly almost everyone in the team assisting Jim Hodgson with his newly found electronic scoring sheet, we took to the field to defend our total.
Williams and Rob Wall opened the bowling for the Strollers. Some flashy batsmanship soon brought the Taverners to 20-4 after a Swan fielding masterclass which brought on the initial collapse.
Swan was lightning in the field for the first wicket after a mistimed cut shot was propelled towards him. The inhuman reflexes of keeper Pittams sealed the run-out with Mike having enough time to miss the stumps and carry on for the second attempt which saw the square leg umpire raise a finger and Mike try to claim the initial miss was purely for show.
Wall took the next two wickets impressively, with one bowled and the other caught behind by Pittams, who was still nursing an injury from the earlier piece of run out showmanship..
The top order was finished off by Williams and Wall with Wall ending his spell on the best bowling figures of the day, taking three wickets and only conceding 17 runs. Hodgson, Colbeck and Robertson combined with the impressive Jonty Rhodes-like fielding of Wall at short cover, bowled in the right areas for the next 15 overs to hold the run rate down through the Taverners’ mid-innings rally.
The run rate pressure took its toll and resulted in a breakthrough from Hodgson, who took possibly the easiest caught and bowled this match reporter has ever seen after impressively changing his pace to snare Tom McIntyre for 27. This was followed by Robertson’s first ever wicket for the Strollers as he bowled Christian Deste, who had fought hard and well for his 27 on this slow outfield. Colbeck finished off the remaining Taverners batsmen with his tall-natured brand of spin, claiming two wickets towards the end of the innings, bringing the close of play and the victory for the Strollers after nine wickets taken, and leaving the Taverners 112 runs short of our total.
Capt and match fees: Glen Oliver, Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match report: Lachlan Williams.
Bricklayers Arms
Thursday May 16 at Barn Elms
Strollers won by seven wickets
Bricklayers 127-7
(20 overs; Macaulay 2-22, Lachlan Williams 1-12, Robertson 1-17, Keightley 1-20)
Strollers 132-3
(17.3 overs; Wall 28no, Oliver 27no, Merryweather 26no, Extras 40!)
Local rules: Retire at the end of the over you get 25; wides and no balls count two runs but are not rebowled. To save time 10 overs bowled from one end and then 10 overs from the other end.
The Strollers got off to a winning start to the 2019 midweek season with a comfortable victory over our old friends The Bricklayer’s Arms.
Continuity from last season was maintained as Glen Oliver lost the toss and so the Strollers were asked to field first. Various transport incidents had delayed a few so we were one or two short. Happily we were joined by debutant George Love, an acquaintance of Rob Wall's, who was "fresh off the boat" from Wellington the previous week. Our alerting system with UK Border Force is clearly working.
Lachlan Williams and Rbo Keighley opened the bowling and kept it pretty tight for the first few overs, both picking up an opener (both bowled). Aidan Selby was kept pretty busy behind the stumps with one or two wayward deliveries. Greg Tremain and Tim Sturm then started to put together a partnership of over 50, with both edging towards 25. However the latter was on the verge of retiring when he smacked the ball straight back at bowler Alastair Macaulay and called for a run. Not having much of a follow-through (or indeed one at all), Alastair was right by the wicket and still felt it necessary to throw the ball all of a foot at the stumps and so the unfortunate Treman was run out backing up.
A change of ends and with two new batsmen at the crease, the Strollers were able to exert control over the middle order. Alastair lured a couple to their doom (both bowled) and Wall, Pete Robertson and Lee Merryweather also kept a lid on the scoring (with a few extras trickling past Selby) . A comedy of errors saw another run-out also effected by Alastair, who later admitted that he barely gets one a season so has used up this season's quota already. He also, much to everyone's surprise, took a nonchalant left-handed catch at short extra cover.
The Bricklayer's ended with 127-7 in their 20 overs. A quick turnaround and Mike Daly and John Low headed out to open the batting. Poor Mike had been delayed and possibly as penance had been dispatched to the outfield for the previous innings. He played over a straight one from Waqas for nought and was later pipped to "Daly of the Day" by brother Nick who only turned up to the pub for a beer after the match. Onward and upward, Mike.
Waqas was a handful when his aim was true, However he did concede a few wides plus byes which can be very expensive under local rules (virtually four runs each time) so the run rate was well ahead of the target. John was joined by Selby who almost immediately had an ungainly hoik and was bowled by Tom Poulter for two.
Skipper Oliver was next in and started smacking the ball around, ably supported by Low between the wickets. John got a little over-excited and called for a run that wasn't there and was easily caught short of the crease. The post-mortem absolved Glen of any blame for this one. Early days though.
Wall then started aggressively with three consecutive boundaries showing us what we had been missing last season. Glen retired on 27 soon after and Merryweather joined Rob. Despite Lee pinging a hammy, he was determined to keep the run rate up, gamely running twos when a lesser man might have limped a single.
As the light faded and the breeze grew cooler, the Strollers passed the target in the 18th over after Rob had also retired on 28 and Lee got to 26 not out as well. The warmth of the Red Lion beckoned where we were joined by Nick Daly, Mike Pittams and quite a few beers.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Aidan Selby.
Match fees: Richard Keightley. Match report: Alastair Macaulay.
Roehampton
Sunday May 19 on Putney Heath
Strollers won by nine wickets
Roehampton 92
(34 overs; Colbeck 3-11, Rhys Williams 2-6, Lachlan Williams 2-7, Peter Wood 1-7, Macaulay 1-11, Holden 1-17)
Strollers 97-1
(14.3 overs; Pittams 43no, Wall 42no)
Cricket has been played at Putney Common since 1859, after Roehampton Cricket Club’s foundation 17 years earlier. That’s 160 years of sunny summer days spent playing cricket. Few of those summer days, however, will have been spent playing in near constant drizzle such as the Strollers played through on this occasion.
With captain Glen Oliver taking his coin toss record to a hilarious one from 21, the Strollers were put in to bowl and a shiny orange ball was tossed to Peter Wood and new recruit Rhys Williams to open proceedings. After several tight opening overs, both Peter and Rhys opened their accounts in each of their respective third overs, removing the Roehampton opening pair. There were several raised eyebrows and impressed looks at the pace from Rhys, who looks a very welcome addition to the Strollers attack.
Job done, and a second wicket picked up for Rhys, it was the turn of Lachlan Williams to take to the attack. Cheered on loudly, and somewhat embarrassingly to Lachlan it seems, he impressed immediately by clean bowling the opposing batsman first ball.
After a few handy overs from the second Sunday debutant George Love, it was the turn of the third and final first-timer Paul Holden to show his bowling skills. The pair bowling in tandem kept things very tight and restricted scoring for the Roehampton batsmen, Love returning 0-22 off six and Holden 1-17 off four, finishing his spell with an impressive wicket maiden.
It was left to the experienced Strollers to conclude the Roehampton innings prematurely, and sure enough Alastair Macaulay and Tom Colbeck delivered, returning figures of 1-11 and 3-11 respectively.
After 34 overs and a score of just 93 to chase, the opening pair of Mike Pittams and Holden took to the crease, before Holden was out lbw to the quick looking Dhilhan Hannan. Rob Wall came to the middle and the run chase was concluded after just 14.3 overs. Pittams and Wall finished with a handy 43 & 42, before drinks were taken in the pavilion, celebrating a convincing nine-wicket victory.
Capt and match fees: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match report: Pete Robertson.
Bledlow
Sunday May 26 in Bledlow
Strollers lost by eight wickets
Strollers 307-2
(40 overs; Selby 109no, Pittams 73, Addis 64, Travis 15)
Bledlow 312-2
(37.3 overs; Travis 1-68, Colbeck 1-71)
A faltering start greeted the gathering Strollers collective at Bledlow amidst dreary mid-grey skies. The covers were off upon arrival to the picturesque ground but fleeting passing showers of drizzle soon saw the covers go back on. There was further early consternation to be had amongst those Strollers looking forward to the appearance of the famed steam engine train once it became apparent we would be making do with a hulking diesel locomotive this year chugging up and down the adjacent railway tracks, though still a sight to behold for any newcomer.
The covers then came off for long enough to enable an attempted toss on schedule before that was curtailed by the inclement drizzle with captains and the umpire present in the middle. As the covers returned, the conversation resorted to a discussion on toss records and the apparent lack of a Strollers candidate available with any semblance of recent winning form. Soon the drizzle gave way and with only a half an hour delay the match could begin without alteration.
The toss was lost, true to form, meaning the Strollers would be batting first and the proceeding conversation would be carried forth for another weekend. The amenities within the pavilion were top notch and comfortable leather couches and armchairs on the veranda beckoned any forlorn Stroller not summoned by duty to sit and watch some superlative batsmanship.
Mike Pittams took the bulk of the early strike with opening partner Aidan Selby observing. Mike was ruthless on any loose deliveries with boundaries flowing merrily off his bat. Shots were played all around the ground in imperious fashion. One flourishing cover drive was sent into a thicket of grass beyond the rope, which Mike nonchalantly followed after to aid in the search of the ball. He brought up a half-century as the Strollers score reached 94-0 after 10 overs. His innings almost came to an end when a lofted drive for six from the bowling of Megan Woodward was caught one-handed on the long-on boundary, however the fieldsman could not prevent backwards momentum from carrying him into the fence.
Selby assumed the anchor role of the innings and proved a more than capable foil, dispatching wayward bowling as efficiently as his opening partner. A similar search-and-rescue operation was launched for the ball following one bludgeoning pull shot from Aidan to the square leg boundary, a theme that would recur throughout the afternoon. By this stage, Bledlow had pushed the field back and a period of tighter bowling began to restrict the rapidly amassing total. The partnership was broken in the 16th over when Mike Pittams was adjudged lbw for 73 and the score stood at 138-1.
Jono Addis batting at No3 survived a similar lbw scare in the very same over. He carried on his innings in the same vein as the Strollers opening batsmen, scoring boundaries at will and being ruthless on any over-pitched deliveries, embellishing multiple paddle sweeps in his time at the crease. Making his first appearance for the season and bearing the responsibility of captaincy, Jono was also in child-minding mode as Christopher (Addis Junior) was keen to join Daddy in the middle upon the resumption of play after the drinks break.
During his innings of 64, Jono surpassed 5,000 career runs for the Strollers, becoming the fastest player to reach that milestone in a total of 96 innings (the laggardly James Timperley is the second-fastest with 106 innings). He was caught lofting a drive in the 36th over following a partnership with Aidan of 124 runs and with the score at 262-2.
Blair Travis, 15 not out, joined for the final overs with Aidan closing in on his own milestone. His hundred was brought up with a nudge to mid-wicket for a quick single, a close-run thing following a direct hit at the bowler’s end by the opposing team captain. Selby finished 109 not out as the Strollers ended their 40 overs of batting with a score of 307-2. The wide-ranging mood amongst our boys was a confidence that 307 runs were more than defendable as we joyously devoured the sumptuous tea provided.
Tom Salvesen and Tom Colbeck shared the new ball as the Strollers sought early wickets. The Bledlow opening duo of James Basu and Alex Ross batted in the same vein as our top order had previously done as they kept pace with the required run rate, scoring boundaries from loose deliveries and being watchful of line-and-length, reaching 73-0 after 10 overs.
The medium pace of George Love replaced the leg-spin bowling of Colbeck after an initial five-over spell, and a while later the off-spin bowling of Travis replaced the medium-fast of Salvesen after he completed his full complement of eight overs unchanged.
Throughout this period the Bledlow opening duo were proving stubbornly resistant, offering little in terms of chances and capitalising on the Strollers’ inability to build pressure through consistently tight bowling. The absence of maiden overs during the innings was all too clear, and with minimum of fuss anything dropped short or bowled down leg side was more often than not dispatched over the short square boundaries for six. On at least two occasions the cricket ball was deemed lost in the scrub or lost over the fence, and with each replacement the Strollers fieldsmen vowed that the new ball would shortly bring about the much needed breakthrough.
Alastair Macaulay came to the bowling crease after Love completed his five-over spell. Shortly before the drinks break, one opportunity to dismiss the dangerous Ross, in the form of a high catch, quickly came and went. Things were looking ominous with Bledlow on 149-0 after 20 overs.
Finally a wicket came in the 27th over. Opposition captain Basu was caught behind off the bowling of Travis for a well compiled score of 66, after sharing in an opening partnership of exactly 200 runs. Hopes of victory rested on the ability to quickly make further in-roads into the Bledlow batting order.
Simon Brodbeck came on to replace Travis after he completed his eight-over spell and Colbeck returned after Macaulay completed seven overs. Ross moved past the century milestone and carried on to score a magnificent 159, eventually dismissed by a smart caught behind off the bowling of Colbeck with the score at 280-2 after 36 overs.
Any chances of late miracles were steadfastly snuffed out. Bledlow carried on without further loss of wickets, reaching 312-2 in 37.3 overs. Thus the Strollers tasted defeat for the first time during the English summer of 2019.
A scratchy bowling performance and slightly better batting conditions during the afternoon enabled Bledlow to maintain momentum throughout the run chase and one feels an early wicket or two would have made an appreciable difference to the final outcome. As the light faded and the storm clouds grew, the teams gathered on the porch of the pavilion to consume a pint or two of their favoured beverage. The rain shower arrived too late to rescue the visitors..
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match fees: Tom Colbeck. Match report: Blair Travis.
Maidenhead and Bray
Sunday June 2 in Bray
Strollers lost by 53 runs
Maidenhead & Bray 214
(38.4 overs; Colbeck 5-42, Hodgson 2-28, Simon Brodbeck 2-50, Oliver 1-14)
Strollers 161
(35.2 overs; Beale 47, Sam Brodbeck 47, Addis 20, Oliver 17, Fredrickson 11)
“Crocker in sensational return to the Strollers” ran the front page headline. But it was not quite what it seemed for it was Dal Crocker, father of Warren, who dropped in at Bray during his stay in the Old Country. He brought best wishes from Warren (Stroller No 594, 2007-2018), Theresa, Lachlan, Zachary and Isla in far-away Melbourne.
Dal indeed was in for a treat at the stunningly beautiful Maidenhead & Bray ground, with St Michael’s Church looming in the background. Graceful deer could also be seen prancing amongst the fielding side, however unfortunately for the Strollers this superb setting was not able to be translated into a victory with an even more superb batting collapse leaving the team feeling like the Sri Lankans of the previous day’s World Cup fixture against the Kiwis.
With Jono Addis starting as skipper there was hope for the Strollers they would at least win the toss. Alas this was not to be the case, with the team strolling into the outfield being overseen by a host of wedding reception guests. This extra audience perhaps added to the pressure in the field with opening bowlers George Love and Jim Hodgson struggling to find early wickets against the in-form batsmen.
There were opportunities however, for Love to claim his first wicket for the Strollers with two missed catches being put down by Mike Pittams and the bowler himself. The team seemed to be replaying the nightmarish visions of the previous fielding performance so to great relief a low and hard strike from Ben Ward was taken by Addis in the outfield, the ball sticking as if he had never left his home town’s premier first eleven team.
Following this however, Addis took a fearsome blow on the side of his knee and had to retreat for running repairs. Glen Oliver took over the reins. When Addis returned, Oliver continued to lead...or did he? “I wasn’t very sure who to listen to,” confessed Tom Colbeck.
This performance inspired the rest of the fielding team with another catch being taken by Oliver to bring Hodgson’s second victim. Sam Brodbeck replaced Love after five overs and was unluckily denied a clean bowled due to a no-ball call. Both bowlers ended their spells with no wickets.
The next change really put the pressure on the batting side, with Simon Brodbeck taking two wickets, the first due to Justin Fredrickson’s safe hands plucking one right out of the sky. The old adage “catches win matches” rang through the ears of the Strollers. A plum lbw was also awarded to Simon, a fitting dividend for the eight-over spell which helped steady the run-rate.
The man of the match performance came from Colbeck, who contributed a whopping five-wicket performance which helped keep down the home team to a beatable total. Love helped get the man his five-wicket bag with a stunning catch at long-on, a feat which required a dive at full stretch to take out danger man Michaeux for 61. Fredrickson also took a great reactionary catch in the slips which stuck in the mitts; perhaps the catching practice for the team earlier in the match had finally paid off.
Finally Glen Oliver made a tentative return to the bowling ranks. “That faster ball tore my shoulder apart,” said Oliver through gritted teeth. He took a stunning last wicket to end the innings, although admitted in the car ride home that he nearly cried when that fast ball was released. I don’t think we will be seeing another performance like that in a while, with the surgeons already being prepped for the operating theatre next week to install a new bionic arm. Rumours have it that Glen still dreams of returning to the 150km pace he had back in the day. The Strollers finished the innings with a total of 214 to chase.
Openers Pittams and Michael Beale faced an imposing opening attack, with both Amber Moorthy and Arul Appavoo bowling a testing line and length. Pittams was unfortunately dispatched at the non-church end of the ground for two due to an unplayable delivery from left-arm around Appavoo. Beale clung on through a shaky start. After the first ten overs only 31 had been scored.
Once the opening bowlers were seen off however, there was a glimmer of hope when Addis came to the crease, scoring a total of 20 before being unfortunately taken in the outfield. Next in line was Sam Brodbeck, who launched a serious partnership with Beale, with the pair putting the Strollers into contention for the win. But Beale (47) was dispatched to a plum lbw and Sam (47) was caught and bowled. Oliver came to the crease with the hopes of the Strollers on his shoulders, scoring 17 before a self-proclaimed lapse of concentration sent him to the showers.
From there a middle to late order collapse followed, highlights included Love being dispatched lbw on debut, still searching for his first runs for the club. The home side was too good in the field and the Strollers left the field having scoring only 161, a great pitch to lose on if that is any consolation!
To end the day Tony Colbeck, father of Tom, put a jug of lager behind the bar to celebrate his son’s figures of 5-42. That was Colbeck’s best analysis since another 5-42 against Valley End in September, 2015. A jug indeed well enjoyed by the Strollers, who will return next week with a thirst to quench the current losing streak of two. Perhaps they will draw inspiration from the mighty Black Caps...
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt and match fees: Michael Beale.
Match report: George Love.
Commons Old Boys
Thursday June 6 at Barn Elms
Strollers lost by three wickets
Strollers 155-3
(20 overs; Travis 33no, Pittams 29no, Holden 29no, Fredrickson 25no)
Commons Old Boys 156-7
(20 overs; Macaulay 3-23, Holden 1-25, Stubbs 1-26, Fredrickson 1-28)
The midweek Strollers gathered on a warm summer’s evening at Barn Elms to face the Commons Old Boys, a relatively new addition to the fixture list with several close games over the last couple of seasons. This game was to prove no exception.
After captain Glen Oliver’s customary loss of the toss, the Strollers had a bat. Mike Pittams was soon to lose his opening partner (the captain) to an inswinging yorker in the second over and was quickly joined in the middle by Blair Travis. Pittams and Travis were untroubled for the next few overs and both retired with 29 and 33. Match manager Aidan Selby was caught behind, which brought Paul Holden and Justin Fredrickson together for another significant stand, before both retiring.
George Love was stumped, which enabled Richie Stubbs and Alastair Macaulay to face the last few balls, which provided just enough time for a “late cut by Macaulay for four”. Yes, dear reader, that is one of those expressions you would never expect to read in a Strollers match report. The innings closed on a respectable 155-3 (off 20 overs).
The Strollers took the field, with Holden and Stubbs opening the bowling. One wicket each (a catch by Oliver off Stubbs and a smart c&b by Holden) had the Commons Old Boys in a spot of trouble, but their next two batsmen retired to bring them back into the game.
On came Macaulay to weave his magic and take three wickets from the COBs’ middle order to put the Strollers back on top. Another fightback from the COBs followed, led by their captain, Tim Collins, before he was caught by Oliver off Fredrickson, and his partner run out by a direct hit from Selby.
Finally, the last over came round with the last two batsmen in the middle, Fredrickson bowling and seven required. The field was out and then in as the game reached the final ball with the COBs one run behind and three results possible.
Fredrickson bowls a good line, the batsman manages a push towards square leg and they both set off. A shy at the stumps followed, but it missed...no Strollers were backing up (having come in to save one) and the COBs run through for the second and win the game.
Commons Old Boys finished on 156-7 (off 20) to win by three wickets and both teams set off to the Red Lion next door.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt and match fees: Mike Pittams.
Match reporter: Richie Stubbs.
Arkley
Saturday June 8 in Whetstone
Strollers lost by 42 runs
Arkley 234-5
(40 overs; Duff 2-20, Colbeck 2-48, Nick Daly 1-36)
Strollers 192
(39.5 overs; Colbeck 46, Travis 32, Peter Wood 24, Nick Daly 15, Love 15)
The entrance gate and lane to the Dame Alice Owen’s Sports Ground in Barnet was designed for cars of a bygone era. Their modern descendants, packed with side impact bars, air bags, and other safety features, makes it a perilously tight squeeze to get through, but once in, a large playing field, hidden by residential streets, reveals itself. The Edwardian red brick clubhouse adds to the feeling of having walked back in time, and if you had, you may have been lucky enough to see an England football squad training here before a game at nearby Wembley.
It was also very, very windy. Groups of large herring gulls and even larger black backed gulls were almost folded in half as they flew about the field. The wicket was fairly green and the outfield was decidedly damp so it was no surprise when skipper Tom Colbeck chose to field on winning the toss. In a brief spot of fielding practice before the start, Laurie Allsopp demonstrated the need for practice by missing a catch and sustaining a black eye.
The new ball was entrusted to George Love and Nick Daly. As hoped, it nipped around a bit and uneven bounce made it difficult for the batsmen. Jake Sittampalam fell early, caught by Rory Wood off Nick. His partner, Ben Candy, was quite watchful, but did not pass up the opportunity to hit the bad ball. He and Nick Anson had a useful partnership, broken by Ryan Duff, who encouraged Anson to hit in the air and skipper Colbeck took a good catch as the ball was buffeted by the wind.
Jim Hodgson replaced George but was wicketless, not able to exert enough control to pressurise the batsmen into mistakes. Jega Sittampalam was shortly trapped lbw by Ryan, which brought Anay Patel to the wicket. After a hesitant start he unfurled some lovely wristy drives while at the other end Candy continued to punish the bad balls and keep the good ones out. This was the dominant partnership of the innings.
Allsopp, Simon Brodbeck and Peter Wood all put down some decent overs without return. When Candy finally fell for an excellent 95, caught by Chris Guest off Colbeck, the total was over 200. Tom took a second wicket, thanks to Duff taking a viciously spinning catch. Patel finished unbeaten on 74. Despite the Strollers feeling they had been pegging back Arkley they closed on a competitive 234-5.
Tea was taken in welcome sunshine, with Mr Kipling apple pies taking second place to scones with jam. More importantly, Astrid, young daughter of Ryan and Sharon, made her Strollers debut, including a Barnet pub lunch. Good work.
Blair Travis and Rory Wood opened and found the decent length of Yash Shah and appreciable bounce of Dave Gordon difficult to get away. An opening partnership of 46 was brought to an end when Rory was run out for nine. Guest, making his UK debut, via Stanton by Dale and two Riviera tours, came in and hit a four and a two before being caught off Shah. Peter Wood looked good for his 24 before picking out the deep midwicket fielder, meanwhile Blair had perished on a respectable 32 and Allsopp had been bowled by the experienced Phil Knappett, who looked as if he had played decent cricket for many years.
Ryan perished for nought to a donkey drop from Knappett, then Daly was adjudged lbw after a belligerent 15. Colbeck led from the front with many strong drives for four and six. Love supported him for a while, recording his first Strollers runs, before falling for 15. Jim joined Tom, who fell to a serious daisy-cutter, or worm burner as our Southern Hemisphere friends call it, for his highest Strollers score to date - 46. As Jim gloved behind, Simon filed a six not out and our innings finished on 192 all out and some way short of our opponents.
We retired to the Prince of Wales pub to discuss if a three-game losing streak was in fact a streak or a blip. It was also noted that Simon had umpired in a baseball cap, albeit a National Trust branded cap. A disciplinary hearing was swiftly invoked, at which Simon pleaded the defence that a well known public broadcasting corporation had informed him that rain showers were forecast and rain meant doom to a Panama hat. The court found in his favour, this time.
Capt: Tom Colbeck. Wkt: Peter Wood/Chris Guest.
Match fees: Blair Travis. Match reporter: Jim Hodgson.
Warfield
Sunday June 9 in Warfield
Match drawn
Strollers 226-5 dec
(37 overs; Pittams 112, Oliver 49, Addis 45)
Warfield 222-7
(38 overs; Nick Daly 2-47, Allsopp 1-27, Love 1-31)
Shortly after 1pm on a bright and sunny day with little wind, we began what proved to be an exciting game of cricket. Captain Glen Oliver negotiated with Warfield's skipper Morgan Price that the Strollers would bat first in a time game.
Jono Addis and Mike Pittams opened in a bold fashion, putting on 77 until the 12th over when Jono was bowled by Price for 45 (including eight fours). Oliver entered the fray at No 3 and began nurdling the ball around for mainly ones and twos whilst at the other end Pittams stepped up his game by peppering the boundary with fours and sixes.
Twenty-two overs later, after a stand of 140 with Oliver, Pittams was caught off the bowling of Chris Bolam for 112, his fifth Strollers century. The score then read 217-2. Unfortunately, in the last two overs of our innings we managed to lose three quick wickets including that of Oliver, caught off Graham Morris for one run short of his 50.
Of the seven bowlers used by Warfield, Bolam proved the most successful with figures of 8-0-41-3. Slightly adjusting the addition in the scorebook, the Strollers declared on 227-5 off 37 overs.
A plentiful supply of a variety of sandwiches plus assorted cakes made for a welcome half-time break before restarting the game in earnest. Warfield's seasoned openers George Laing and Leigh Johnson, set about their response in seemingly undaunted fashion and, moving the scoreboard along nicely, eventually passed 100.
Our two opening bowlers Rob Wall and Nick Daly toiled away with little success. Oliver then mixed up the bowling by bringing on in fairly quick succession George Love, Alastair Macaulay, Tom Colbeck and Laurie Allsopp. When Love switched ends to bowl down the hill he finally got Johnson (58) caught at first slip by Addis (high up in front of his face). Ian Mcdonough at No 3 hung around, scoring 19 before lobbing up a straightforward catch which Simon Brodbeck took at midwicket off Allsopp's bowling. Batsman No 4 Neil Jones also scored 19 before being bowled by Daly in his second spell , this time coming up the hill.
With Laing still making hay and finally reaching his 100 (his first century for Warfield) and the total now beyond 200 with time and overs to spare, it seemed odds-on that they would win comfortably. That would have left the Strollers very rueful of a few cases of “butter fingers” in the field earlier in the game.
However, fortunes changed dramatically once Daly had Laing, on exactly 100, caught behind by Pittams. Furthermore, in their very risky running attempts to snatch a win in the last two overs of their 38, Warfield's numbers five, six and seven all managed to get themselves run out whilst barely adding to their total.
Thanks must therefore go to Wall and Daly for their tight bowling at the finish. Ultimately, Warfield came up five runs short, ending on 222-7, and the game was drawn. Light drizzle during the last six overs of the game did little to dampen the excitement of a nail-biting finale. A good day was had by all.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt and match fees: Mike Pittams.
Match reporter: Ivor Fiala.
West Chiltington
Sunday June 16 in West Chiltington
Strollers won by eight wickets
West Chiltington 230
(39.2 overs; Travis 3-15, Holden 2-20, Peter Wood 2-44, Duff 1-59)
Strollers 231-2
(38.4 overs; Loan 95, Pittams 50, Addis 46no, Selby 22no)
Last season the Strollers made the lengthy trek to West Sussex in charming sunshine, only to see the heavens open and ruin the chances of a finish to a delicately poised game.
This year, as the windscreen wipers slapped furiously against pelting rain on the road south and large puddles built up on the country lanes near West Chiltington, the team desperately hoped the inverse would happen. And it did. Weeks of biblical rain miraculously ceased as bags were wheeled into the spacious dressing rooms, and a milky sun emerged from behind the clouds.
As well as possessing one of the most beautiful grounds on the Strollers circuit, West Chiltington has perhaps the best set of covers. They did a good job, although the grassy pitch and dampish outfield were more helpful to the bowling side than in previous seasons.
With this in mind, Captain Jono Addis won the toss and elected to field. Ryan Duff and Paul Holden got some early swing and Holden nicked out the openers, thanks to a generous lbw and a catch behind the wicket.
Three and four batsmen Reuben Taylor and Alfie Batchelor then threatened to turn the game West Chiltington’s way. The former is one of several talented youngsters at the club, top scoring with 93. He looked in great form until the spin of Alastair Macaulay and Blair Travis were introduced late in the innings. Travis’s off-spin got sharp bounce, and he finished with fine figures of 3-15. Peter Wood’s medium pacers also chipped out 2-44.
Addis effected an impressive direct-hit run-out from mid-off. This prompted run-out envy throughout the team. Wicket shies flew in from all directions. Michael Pittams, never one to be outdone, registered a superb direct hit from the deep midwicket boundary.
This led to something of a collapse, and West Chiltington were bowled out in the 40th and last over for 230, about par on a sporting pitch.
The tea featured a fundraising raffle and cake stall for the Marie Curie Cancer Foundation. Several Strollers were seen to double up on the already fine selection of cakes provided by the cricket club with pastel di nata, victoria sponge or cup-cakes freshly baked by the local villagers. It is for a good cause, you see.
The target looked tricky. Luckily the Strollers selectors had included plenty of batting firepower. Mike Loan and Pittams opened up, and despite some Kane Williamson-Ross Taylor-like running between the wickets, set off at a steady and comfortable clip. Pittams crunched impressive drives through the covers and Loan launched anything short to the square boundaries.
Against a challenging attack, the Strollers kept up with the rate while retaining wickets in hand. Pittams fell for 50 but Loan battled on to 95, despite copping a painful blow to the elbow from a shy at the stumps on 70.
Addis (46no) and Aidan Selby (22no) finished the runs off reasonably comfortably in the second to last over, while the rest of the team was content to finish off the cakes in the comfort of the pavilion.
So, the John Marshall Cup is retained for another year. Despite its distance from London, West Chiltington remains one of the most popular domestic fixtures on the Strollers list. With a game such as this, played in a beautiful setting in good spirit, one can see why.
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt and match report: Hamish McDougall.
Match fees: Ryan Duff.
L J Clark
Thursday June 20 on Wandsworth Common
Strollers won by six wickets
L J Clark 155-2
(20 overs; Sudip Ray 1-25, James Stubbs 1-32)
Strollers 157-4
(19.3 overs; Pittams 87, Guest 32, Beale 11)
What’s the difference between a Strollers midweek T20 fixture and a 1990s JA Rule ft. Ashanti R&B classic? The R&B classic is always on time. On Thursday June 20, the anointed 6pm start time came and went, with just two assembled Strollers feeling outnumbered, lonely and thoroughly out-psyched by a fully assembled and pristinely outfitted LJ Clark line-up running through catching and fielding drills.
Strollers gradually trickled in and were finally completed in number by skipper Glen Oliver. Mike Pittams – has there been a more erudite Stroller in recent times? - eruditely proclaimed: “Hurry up Oliver, we need you to get on with losing the toss so the game can start”. Oliver, taking this as an instruction (which he is used to following - when one punches as thoroughly above one’s weight as Glen does with Steph, life involves a lot of doing what one is told) promptly did just that, and so it was that the Strollers were invited to make first use of the bowling strip.
Said strip provided the variable bounce we have come to know and love at Wandsworth Common, described by Captain Oliver to former Stroller Mitch Alley as “hairy and scary”. When communicating with Mitch it’s important to use ‘street’ lexicon of this kind, otherwise he’ll suspect he’s being catfished.
Robert Eugene ‘The Salt and Pepper Princess’ Wall opened the bowling in the accurate, and indeed salt and peppery, fashion to which we have become accustomed. Harry Ray followed suit from the trees end, steaming in off a run-up of what looked to this scribe to be at least 95 metres. Oh to be young again...
While tight opening spells did not yield any wickets, the run-rate was at least nice and low. Wall and Ray made way for Richie Stubbs and George Love, two Strollers of contrasting experience. Love showed the wisdom of spending most of his working day watching instructional youtube videos titled ‘how to bowl’, ‘the art of the in-swinger’ and ‘leg cutter 101’ (a wise YouTube-at-work paradigm shift in my opinion, given the cloud of controversy and HR meetings under which he left his last place of employment in NZ), continuing his rapid development as a cricketer. His spell of four consecutive overs went for just 20 runs. Stubbs at the other end was also generally tight and accurate, albeit unlucky at the end of his spell to get somewhat collared by LJ Clark’s Cam, who was a dead ringer in looks, physique and aggressive intent to Andrew Flintoff.
Breakthroughs proved stubborn until Richie Stubbs and Harry Ray abdicated their places at the bowling crease to other members of their family dynasties; both Sudip Ray and James Stubbs managing to clean bowl LJ batsmen. Runs continued to flow in spite of this, and plenty of energetic and accurate work in the field (the youth policy showing all of its considerable merit).
Wall returned to finish the innings – fortuitously not needing to warm up prior to his second spell thanks to his ‘aspirationally sized’ Strollers shirt being so tight it acts as a compression skin garment, enabling him to actively recover even as he dives around agilely from short cover between spells. Another parsimonious over from Wall gave him the scarcely believable figures of 4-0-8-0, surely one of the most economical T20 spells ever, and left the Strollers chasing 156 for victory.
LJ Clark’s opening batsmen Cam Flintoff and Charlie Vettori top scored with 55 and 48 not out respectively. “Wot, no retirements?” you ask? No. ‘Tis a serious brand of midweek hit and giggle played by LJs, underlined by international wide rules and, as Love was about to find out, an interesting response to umpiring decisions.
What’s the difference between a Thursday night hit and giggle and a Mersey derby? Not much; according to LJs.
Pittams and Michael Beale were despatched by skipper Oliver to open the innings with the instructions: “show me who my favourite Michael should be”.
Flintoff and Ned Cound opened the bowling and were difficult to get away on a pitch that took some getting used to. Between the two-pronged pace attack, the pressure of winning Glen’s approval, the lack of thigh pad on an up and down pitch (there was only one in the team kit – (Tom Wood can we open the coffers please!?) and an opposition treating the match like a World Cup final, involving the umpire in a calm and reasoned debate any time an lbw decision was turned down or a wide given, it was a bracing place to be.
Struggling to lay bat on ball, the two Michaels concentrated on running hard between the wickets and survival, in the hope that the first-change bowlers might offer something easier to hit.
The first-change bowler didn’t exactly do that – offering six runs worth of wides before managing a legitimate delivery, which also proved impossible to get bat on (Beale bowled for a well compiled, high elbowed 11). This development brought Chris Guest to the crease, who was immediately under way in organised fashion. One checked straight drive over the bowler’s head for four was particularly aesthetically pleasing. As Umpire Sudip – in a moment of rare respite from the parliamentary debate going on out in the middle – put it, a “beautiful tee shot, straight down the middle of the fairway”.
Taking inspiration from Guest, Pittams decided to tee off himself – employing the slightly unusual tactic of doing so with his pitching wedge. Perhaps he knew something no one else did? Having arrived early (on time) and witnessed the oppo’s catching practice, had he singled out the weakest of the herd, to strategically target with mistimed aerial slogs? Let’s go with yes. Let us assume that is exactly what he was doing. He does have a burgeoning reputation for being quite erudite in these matters.
After the 10th over yielded 23 runs, the asking rate was down to eight. A second wicket stand of 95 was brought to and end when Guest was run out for 32, unselfishly looking to improve the run rate. Skipper Oliver came to the crease and reminded Pittams that only a run a ball was needed, and not to do anything silly. With four runs left to get, Pittams elected not to heed his skipper’s warning, and tried to finish things with a single lusty blow from the left-arm orthodox spin of Charlie Vettori, only to be bowled.
What’s the difference between a lusty blow and a mighty blow? One might postulate that the lusty blow is less controlled. Lust is all about blood rushing to heads, desire, and loss of inhibition. I asked Skipper Oliver as I strode off, and he promised to get Aidan Selby’s thoughts on the matter when next they both had blood flowing.
Enter John Low, with the stage set for glory. Low, too, opted for lust, and provided Vettori with another victim when he was caught at gully without scoring. With an exasperated sigh and an under his breath mutter that sounded suspiciously like “I guess I have to do everything around here”, the Salt and Pepper Princess went in to finish the job, his assured one not out (in the company of Oliver’s seven not out) further underlining his aspirations to be considered as a genuine all rounder - which are considerably more realistic than his aspirations to fit into his Strollers shirt.
A six-wicket victory with three balls to spare capped a mostly enjoyable and keenly contested match.
To the County Arms, the furniture and fittings of which were looking a bit worn and threadbare. Apparently the pub is struggling financially since the Strollers shifted most of their midweek matches to Barnes - depriving the County Arms of eight hours of income from Selby ‘working’ (his way through both the drinks and food menus) there each week. The traditional post-match beverage and speech function was held outside, with each team’s Man of the Match (Pittams vs Flintoff) and Dick of the Day (Love vs Nelly) racing to neck a pint. I am delighted to report the success of the Strollers in these endeavours, sealing a satisfying 3-0 result for the evening.
What’s the difference between a beer after a grimly hard-fought win and a beer after a more enjoyable game of cricket? I am pleased to report very little - post cricket beer is at all times delicious and I highly recommend it.
Post scriptum: Daly of the Day was awarded to Nick who, with his arm tattoo, looked more natural than Mike at the Metallica Concert they attended.
Capt and match fees: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Michael Beale.
Match report: Mike Pittams.
Kempsford
Saturday June 22 in Meysey Hampton
Strollers won by 179 runs
Strollers 269-4
(35 overs; Pittams 174no, Sam Brodbeck 42, Hodgson 15no, Low 14, Travis 12)
Kempsford 90
(19.1 overs; Hodgson 3-6, Travis 2-0, Macaulay 2-11, Love 1-18, Simon Brodbeck 1-37)
The picture-perfect setting that welcomed us in Meysey Hampton on the Saturday morning of the 2019 Cotswolds Tour was at odds with the strange utterances of some arriving Strollers. “I can’t wait to get my hands in Simon’s pants,” moaned Blair Travis. “I’ve never been more hungover in my life,” offered George Love. “Tricia, have I been here before?” wondered Brian Taylor.
Travis’s risqué comments were in reference to his packing fail, which meant he arrived at Swindon train station on Saturday morning without any cricket clothing. Fortunately for him Simon Brodbeck, the world’s most organised man, had brought a spare pair of trou long enough in the legs to fit one of the club’s premier extremely tall spinners.
Love’s predicament stemmed from the typically lavish hospitality provided the night before by Peter and Maggie at Patston Towers. Delicious food, wine flowing as freely as a Mike Loan cover drive, old scorebooks to delve through with Brian ‘Elephant Memory’ Taylor; it was all a bit much for George, the poor puppy. When he was gently prodded awake the next morning with a long piece of wood conveniently located in the Patstons’ basement (presumably for that precise purpose), he was feeling considerably sub-par.
Skipper Alastair Macaulay – humorously misspelt ‘Macalily’ by one recent opposition scorebook – won the toss and elected to bat in a 35-over game. Mikes Daly and Pittams opened, and started steadily. Kempsford opening bowling M Arnold became frustrated with his early inconsistency, at one point screaming loudly after straying down leg. High standards, or an eminently reasonable and understandable reaction to the company of Mike Daly?
Arnold soon settled on an accurate line and length and used the skiddy nature of the pitch to win lbw decisions against Daly and Travis, reducing the Strollers to 58-2. Brodbeck Junior and Pittams then linked for a stand of 80, dominated by the languid and elegant musings of Brodbeck’s blade. Has anyone ever noticed how closely Sam resembles Mark Waugh while batting? It is difficult not to put two and two together and reach the following conclusion…
…it is the mid-1980s, and after yet another FSSCC Management Board meeting that has run into the small hours, Simon Brodbeck has finally decided that there is no alternative. Massaging his temples and sighing, he picks up a special phone and dials a long international number. “Privet, Grigori… it’s Simon. Da. Da. Da. Da!!”. Consorting with the Soviets isn’t Simon’s preferred method, but the Management Board has decided to finally give Operation Youth Policy its full backing and highest priority. For the world’s most organised man, masterminding the defection of an experimental Soviet Genetic Scientist and the heist of a range of lab equipment was a cinch. Not long later, the DNA splicing had taken place. Nine months later Sam was ‘hatched’ in a lab just west of Colindale, and the cover drive and leg glance we know so well today were just a few short years from making their debut…
Back to the cricket. Sam was bowled by a slower delivery from M Winter that just about removed his bails (had they been the heavy zing balls used in the World Cup, the consensus was that they would certainly not have been disturbed from their grooves) for 42 – the highlight of which was a delightful straight six into the opposition opening batsman’s Skoda.
Enter John Low, in a pair of cricket boots so sparkling and new it’s a wonder he wasn’t distracted by his reflection smiling back at him while he batted. As Brodbeck Senior noted, we can expect another 10-15 years in John’s Strollers career after such an investment. Continuing with the footwear section of the match report, it was strange to see Ivor’s white leather disco dancing shoes, which he’s been trying to pass off as cricket boots for the last 40 years, outdone for once. Low compiled 14 from 18 deliveries, including a couple of well-timed drives to the cover point boundary, before unselfishly hitting out in the interests of the run-rate. Jim Hodgson picked up where John left off, and was 15 not out at the end of the innings of 269-4.
Pittams walked off with him, with 174 not out to his name – but more excitingly also a share of the club six-hitting record. The 11 in this innings (on boundaries that admittedly were more Eden Park than MCG) equalled Peter Wood’s effort last year against The Lee. This logically means that, in addition to their already perfectly-matched facial hair growing ability, the two are obviously of equal cricketing ability too.
Jim spent the tea break sticking his knees back together using some sort of newfangled medical adhesive tape (possibly invented by Grigori once he’d finished operation Brodbeck-Waugh) in preparation to trot in from his customary seven paces (never more, never less) to open the bowling.
He got our defence of 269 off to an excellent start, removing Kempsford’s Mike Coxhead for a golden duck. Coxhead had frustrated us for more than an hour with his dogged defence last year in our pursuit of victory in a time game (before finally being bowled by Jim). Suspicions that Jim had spent much of the week studying video footage of Coxhead to find a weakness were duly confirmed, explaining Jim’s immediate zeroing in on Coxhead’s achilles heel (being bowled by leg stump yorkers via bat and then boot).
George ‘Puppy’ Love picked up where Hodgson left off, clean bowling the dangerous looking Joe Tranter for one. If Tranter batted anywhere near as well as he fielded, this was a very valuable wicket indeed Sporting a new pair of trousers, it was strange not to see George’s comely ankles and lower calves as he ran into bowl. Let us hope that the Puppy’s house training continues to progress, and he manages not to shrink this pair with a series of extremely hot wash cycles (although he IS currently living with Rob Wall, who has been blaming the tightness of his shirts on his washing machine for some time now… perhaps the machine is defective after all?). The other change in the Pup’s bowling plan was the adoption of an around the wicket strategy, for reasons that I’m not au fait with, but am sure were very well thought through.
Two more Hodgson wickets, and the run-out of young Charlie Street (the poor chap; no one had warned him not to run on the arm of FSSCC’s 2018 fielder of the year Mike Daly), reduced Kempsford to 16-5. Skipper Macalily’s first made it 24-6, and it wasn’t until Ant Axel-Berg and Aiden Cleaver came together that a productive partnership (48) was formed. The two experienced batsmen judiciously waited out the good balls, and exploited the short square boundaries wherever possible before Simon skittled Axel-Berg for the second year running, and Macalily lured Cleaver to hit a catch to Love at long-on. The fielding was of a generally good level - no doubt inspired by the desire to live up to the standards of Fielder of the Year (FotY) and Daly of the Day (DotD) Mike Daly.
Ivor Fiala showed his usual catlike agility at gully, Brian Taylor whistled in several throws from the deep that stung even through the keeper’s gloves, and John Low safely pouched his first catch “in about ten years”. Not satisfied with this, Low couldn’t resist throwing his shiny new size 12s about to also effect several sharp stops at square leg. Not to be outdone, and conscious that with Notts County’s relegation to some obscure level of park football they might be required to don the black and white stripes next year, Taylor and Brodbeck Senior started showing off some foot saves of their own
The spin of Travis and Taylor was introduced in an astute double change from the skipper, Taylor’s mystery spin deceiving the keeper on numerous occasions with not only its sharpness, but also its mystery. Taylor showed his motivation, as he had all afternoon in the field, to rack up some strong numbers on his pedometer. Did you know his average stride is exactly 79cm long? For other anatomical length statistics I suggest contacting Brian directly.
Travis, while less mysterious, delivered his accurate off-breaks from roughly the height of a four-storey building, and showed his motivation to dethrone Tom Colbeck from either or both of his mantles of club’s tallest, and club’s best tall, spinner. Travis took the final two wickets to secure a famous victory for Macalily’s men, following which we retired to the Masons Arms to rehydrate.
Initial rehydration achieved, it was time to refuel (and continue to rehydrate) at the Green Dragon in Cockleford. Notable occurrences included Ivor Fiala triple-circumnavigating a roundabout on the drive from Meysey Hampton, Blair Travis eating 150% of his body weight in chips, new potatoes and salad, Pittams being peer pressured to consume his pudding without use of cutlery (what would his mother think?) and an informative speech from Simon Brodbeck on the history of the Cotswolds tour.
The oration included common trends in tour party members (Taylor, Fiala, Brodbeck and Patston featured once or twice), and some terrific #statchat that wouldn’t have been out of place in a James Timperley spreadsheet: “In Peter Patston’s 644 Strollers matches he has disposed of 984 bottles of merlot - that’s a staggering strike rate of 7.639 glasses per match. Figures that no one will overtake, I am sure.”
Just before the clock ticked over to the jurisdiction of Brian Taylor’s match report, the younger tour party members traipsed exhaustedly to bed, leaving the Patstons, Lows, Taylors and Brodbecks in the drinking arena. For fuller details do tune in to Sunday’s match report.
Capt: Alastair Macaulay. Wkt and match report: Mike Pittams.
Cricklade
Sunday June 23 in Cricklade
Strollers won by 88 runs
Strollers 272-2
(40 overs; Oliver 148no, Sam Brodbeck 75no)
Cricklade 184
(34.2 overs; Travis 2-11, Love 2-29, Macaulay 2-32, Hodgson 1-9, Taylor 1-23, Low 1-32, Simon Brodbeck 1-38)
Aim Low and Scale the Heights
The discussions at the dinner table late on Saturday night at The Green Dragon touched on many topics. There was the usual ritualistic mocking of Notts County, who are at present in such dire straits that the Magpies’ very existence is under threat; Messrs Simon Brodbeck and Brian Taylor kept their dignity. Secondly, it was agreed that matters aired the previous evening could be included in a match report.
Thus it can be noted that several of the elder Strollers commented that the Kiwi members of the party admirably left for bed quite early in order to be better rested for the next day’s match, whilst an older Anglo group of players and partners sat around and reminisced, or just drank. Lastly, everyone had learnt that New Zealand had won a tremendous match against the West Indies in the World Cup and all expected that the next day’s captain, Glen Oliver, would be, shall we say, vibrant.
There are photographs of Glen’s exuberant response to winning the toss on an overcast, dry afternoon. Things have come a long way from the days when a gentlemanly handshake sealed the deal between opposing captains. Now we saw fist-pumping, dervish-like posturing which some of us associate with raucous Australia rather than nice New Zealand. There you go.
Strollers batted first and lost Blair Travis to the first ball of the match, caught behind to a low bouncing long hop that he did quite well to reach. There followed a stabilising partnership of 48 between the captain and Taylor. “They say that cricket is a game of partnerships – my runs are yours and vice versa. Glen is welcome to a half share of my run if I can have twenty of his,” Brian commented later.
There then followed a mighty partnership of 224 runs in only 148 minutes between Glen and Sam Brodbeck. The stand is the second-highest third-wicket partnership for the Strollers. There have been 12 stands of over 200 in the history of the Strollers and this is the eighth highest [See Club Records: Stand and deliver]. In all, Glen batted for 147 minutes, hitting 12 fours and four sixes (the figures for Sam were four fours and two sixes).
Particular features of the stand were Glen’s all-round power and Sam’s high-handed back-foot driving. At one point during the partnership a Lancaster bomber flew over; for some observers, Glen became Guy Gibson of 617 squadron, letting loose missiles on enemy territory…but the moment soon passed.
The total of 272-2 in 40 overs was a formidable total for Cricklade to achieve and it enabled Glen to bring players into the game. George Love, representing hostile youth, took 2-29 and Jim “tapeman” Hodgson tied down the early Cricklade batsmen in a mean spell of 1-9 in six overs. Five other bowlers took wickets: Simon 1-38, Brian 1-23, Alastair 2-32 and Blair 2-11.
Moment of the day came when John Low took his first wicket (1-32) since May 7, 2011, when he recorded figures of 1-0-6-1 against Jordans Taverners. Meantime, our two opening batsmen can quietly reflect that between them they took three wickets, three times the number of runs they scored.
For their part, several Cricklade batsmen made good starts, but only Ian Hazell went on to make a 50, scoring a forceful 62 in 57 balls.
So ended another excellent Cotswolds tour. Cricklade, as ever, were very hospitable, the ground lovely and Amanda Hazell’s tea wonderful. After a swift drink the Strollers went their different ways home.
There is an eerie postscript to the Notts County story. When the Taylors got home, they found a dead magpie in their living room. As Alastair was to mail: “If a dead magpie isn’t a portent, I don’t know what is. Resurrection in the Conference awaits.”
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match report: Brian Taylor.
Khukuri
Thursday June 27 at Barn Elms
Strollers won by 24 runs
Strollers 177-4
(20 overs; Wall 31no, Oliver 30no, Pittams 25no, Nick Daly 22, Beale 18, Keightley 15no)
Khukuri 153
(19.2 overs; Fredrickson 2-24, Love 2-29, Keightley 1-21, James Stubbs 1-22, Richie Stubbs 1-23)
This scribe’s match report is very, very, tardy – though in line with Mike Pittams’ dire warnings to the captain of the day that Mr Wall is so notoriously bad at admin that it may take a few (days/weeks/months) to complete.
To more important matters: the game. On a barn-storming evening at Barn Elms the Strollers put themselves in to bat against Khukuri.
The pitch was a road and so runs were essential. Rob Wall got the game under way with some hitherto unknown hitting ability, retiring in the third over of the day for 31.This was followed by more flowing runs from Glen Oliver (30no) and Pittams (31no). George Love produced the biggest surprise of the evening, channelling his inner Brendon McCullum to charge down the wicket and dispatch the bowler over extra cover on consecutive occasions. His three stumps were then left lying on the ground as he attempted a third.
Justin Fredrickson then continued batting with all the flow and grace of WG himself. This was until his innings was cut short by a sprawling one-handed catch which rivalled Ben Stokes’s effort in the outfield against Pakistan.
George was then shown the love by captain Oliver and thrown the new ball. Love came in with his (now infamous) right arm around the wicket line of attack. In previous T20 games the approach of bowling into the batsman’s slot had worked as a surprise tactic and been hugely effective. On this occasion, the Khukuri opener was not surprised, and duly lofted multiple fours through midwicket to get them off to a rollicking start.
Love then returned for his second over and skittled two of their batsman.
Other notable efforts in the field were the Stubbs (Richie and James) combination firing, and Fredrickson proving that he not only can bat but has some world class leg spin in his repertoire.
Thus the Strollers dismissed Khukuri in the 20th over, 20 odd runs short of the target.
Post-match celebrations included a delicious chicken and leek pie in the Red Lion and confirmation that Nick really was Daly of the Day.
Capt and match fees: Glen Oliver.
Wkt: Michael Beale. Match report: Rob Wall.
Peppard
Sunday June 30 at Peppard
Strollers lost by 40 runs
Peppard 256-6
(40 overs; Archie White 3-34, Selby 1-17, Oli White 1-54)
Strollers 216-7
(40 overs; Addis 76, Pittams 45, Oli White 23, Fredrickson 20, Macaulay 17no)
The pavilion at Peppard had grown by about a third after our visit last year. Large home and away changing rooms had been added, the shower and WC facilities had been upgraded, a fancy digital score board took pride of place at the front, requiring a tablet device to operate it (yes, Ivor did pass up the opportunity to take control of this) and the kitchen extended to accommodate an impressively sized beer fridge. A super shed had been added at the side to house all the ground machinery and the nets had been given a once-over too. Amongst all this progress it was rather poignant to find the little old scorebox still standing, even if it was eschewed by all scorers.
Skipper Jono Addis greeted Mike Pittams with a “What the hell were you doing in the pavilion at Lord’s yesterday?” The answer was, drinking a lot of champagne and having a very, very long lunch with his MCC squash and real tennis buddies, while the Black Caps were coming second to the Aussies on the field. Mike’s pallor and eyes said this may be a long day for him, and as happens in these circumstances, he became a ball magnet in the deep.
Both teams arrived and one thing became immediately apparent: Peppard were far too young and fit for our liking. If records were kept, this could be the youngest side we had faced, with only two players looking over 25. We were operating our own youth policy with Finlay Perrin (13) and his school friend Archie White (13), making his debut with his father Oli. Jono did the decent thing and lost the toss and we were asked to field.
I’m not saying Jono is only thought of as a batsman, but for him to open the bowling showed we were a bit light in that department. He and Jim Hodgson toiled without success while Peppard’s Rich Ashton and Will Wakeham built a steady partnership. Alastair Macaulay took over from Jono at the pavilion end and after Jim had completed his eight overs, Mike came on, accompanied by his usual Maria Sharapova grunting.
It took a moment of clear-headed brilliance to claim the first wicket. It had been noted that Ashton was not one to run the first or second run hard. He hit Pittams to long-on, completed the first run and turned for a second. Jono threw flat and hard to Mike at the non-striker’s end, only narrowly failing to run out the speedier Wakeham, but Mike had the presence of mind to hurl the ball to the other end. Keeper Justin Fredrickson gathered the ball from his toes, removed the bails, and Ashton was run out. Truly a champagne moment!
The openers had made 82. The young and talented Daniel Watts sped the score along to 146, helped by the Strollers dropping several catches. Mike reassured us that “It will feel all the better when we hang onto one”. The very next ball he made a good stab at dropping Wakeham, but clung on to give young Archie White his first Strollers wicket. The very next ball, Daniel Bacon feathered the ball into Justin’s gloves. Archie didn’t claim a debut hat-trick but did get Watts caught behind by Fredrickson to finish with figures of 5-0-34-3.
Unfortunately, Finlay’s sore hamstring was not in good order and a fair share of fielding wasn’t helping. He limped off the field to prevent further damage. Luckily, Ivor had finally arrived after being held up behind an accident. Our hosts kindly provided the eleventh fielder.
Fergus Nutt and Scott Harris added another 67, and the total to 223, before Aidan Selby benefited from a smart stumping by Fredrickson to remove Harris. Stats question: How many times have we seen Jono and Aidan bowling in the same match? Archie’s father Oli also claimed his first Strollers wicket, bowling the very capable Nutt for 50. At the end of the 40 overs Peppard had 256.
Over tea it was opined this was a decent total, but the deck was good and the outfield fast.
Selby and Pittams strode to the wicket. Alastair took the scorebook and the tablet was handed to Archie on the assumption a 13-year-old would intuitively know how it worked. Correct assumption.
Aidan fell early to the nagging line and length of Satheech Elanganathan. Pittams and Addis put on 53 for the second wicket before Mike was bowled by Scott for a creditable 45. Glen Oliver, much to his own frustration, hit a rare bad ball from Elanganathan straight down mid-on’s throat for nine, and Addis was joined by Fredrickson. They put on 51 before Justin was unlucky to pick out the fielder at deep square leg for 20.
Archie did not hang around for long, bowled by Thomas Brown, but this made way for his father. He and Jono set about the bowling with intent and put the target in closer focus. After several boundaries and good running, Oli was trapped lbw by returning opening bowler, Archie Malcolm, for 26. He and Jono put on 58 for the sixth wicket - the third 50 partnership of the innings.
Hodgson came in, but Jono fell shortly after, bowled by Malcolm for 76. With his departure went the realistic hope of victory. Macaulay enjoyed a late flourish of boundaries for 17 not out, but in the end we were quite a way short on 216-7. We availed ourselves of the capacious beer fridge, rued our partnerships not being greater and hoped Ivor would make it home before daybreak.
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt: Justin Fredrickson.
Match fees: Glen Oliver. Match report: Jim Hodgson.
Thames Valley
Thursday July 4 at Spelthorne
Strollers won by three wickets
Thames Valley 82-7
(20 overs; Keightley 2-9, King 1-5, Hancock 1-10, McDougall 1-10, Harry Ray 1-10, James Stubbs 1-15)
Strollers 83-7
(19.2 overs; Keightley 24no, McDougall 21)
During the longest days of high summer, the midweek Strollers make the long trek out to Spelthorne to take on Thames Valley. The Richie Stubbs Talent Development/emergency ringer pipeline had been in full swing during the week, with Stubbs Junior and two of his under-16 teammates (Oscar Hancock and Rueben King) called up to make their debuts. The added benefit was that nearly half the team arrived in one carload.
Irregular trains, combined with motorway road closures and a major festival at Hampton Court slowing traffic to a crawl, saw the rest of the team arrive in fits and starts. As either a) a mark of appreciation for providing half of the team or b) the most senior player present at the toss, Stubbs senior was handed the reins by match manager Glen Oliver.
Young gun Harry Ray, last seen several years ago (when he was a good foot shorter), opened the bowling. Despite coming off an even longer run now and bowling with genuine intensity, the Strollers thought they might be in for a long evening in the field when the first three balls of the innings all went for four.
The Strollers responded by bowling increasingly tight lines and lengths, with new recruits King and Hancock both taking good wickets to open their accounts. The Spelthorne batting unit was never quite able to get on top on a tricky wicket. The skipper rang the bowling changes at regular intervals, making sure anyone who was fit and able was afforded the opportunity to roll the arm over. Of particular note was Richard Keightley, who has developed something of a habit of taking two wickets in two balls, followed by a third ball that has no hope of taking another (thus avoiding having to pay for the hat-trick drinks), then mysteriously settling into a perfect line and length again. That skill was on display again here; future team selectors take note.
The conclusion of the 20 overs saw the Strollers restricting Thames Valley to just 82; a score that nearly proved the Strollers’ undoing.
Oliver and Hamish McDougall opened the reply - McDougall circumspect and Oliver swinging from the hip. McDougall’s approach proved more appropriate for the pitch conditions (Oliver departing without unduly troubling the scorers). A procession of players then came and went at alarming intervals, with none of McDougall’s partners making double figures as he scraped his way to a vital 20.
A notable exception was veteran weekend Stroller Ivor Fiala, who scored his first runs for the midweek team. He demonstrated exactly how to pace a low chase innings, taking no fewer than 15 balls to score his first run and nearly having a heart attack in the process as he held up an end.
Somehow, the asking rate had risen above a run a ball, seven down with four overs to go. The Strollers, seemingly utterly deceived by the chase, needed something special. Enter Keightley, who combined aggressive hitting and even better running in a wonderful final partnership with young Ray to see the team home with only four balls remaining.
An epic finish to an epic game, made even better by the evening meal laid on by the Thames Valley team - which makes the trip all the more worthwhile!
Capt: Richie Stubbs. Wkt: Michael Beale.
Match fees: John Low. Match report: Glen Oliver.
Edgware
Sunday July 7 at Pinkneys Green
Strollers lost by four wickets
Strollers 284-4
(40 overs; Addis 137, Oliver 55, Loan 33, Pittams 19no, Sam Brodbeck 18)
Edgware 286-6
(39.2 overs; Macaulay 2-50, Hodgson 1-34, Peter Wood 1-51)
Sunday's events started early for our esteemed fixture secretary as a last-minute cancellation by The Weekenders, our scheduled opponents, left us potentially without a game.
After a couple of hours of phone calls and fixture searching however, Edgware Cricket Club were secured just in time and the team proceeded out to Pinkneys Green. Many thanks to Simon for saving us from the horrors of a cricket-free Sunday.
A late start was graciously scheduled to allow the opposition to rustle up the required numbers and travel over, giving time for an extended warm-up. The team duly responded with a solid three minutes of tossing a ball round instead the usual two. The remainder of the spare time was given over to the groundsman to marshal the parked cars in such a way that would prevent the local travelling community from occupying the neighbouring fields.
With captain Glen Oliver thankfully flipping the coin instead of calling, a win signalled that openers Jono Addis and Mike Loan would be padding up. On a hard and true looking pitch they made a solid start, finding plenty of gaps and running hard to post 57-0 in the first ten overs.
The runs continued to flow and Loan was unlucky to find the point fielder with a strong cut just short of a 100-run opening stand. Addis was joined by the younger of the two Brodbecks, who kept the scoreboard flowing with some delightful drives.
He too was unlucky to fall to a strong catch to a back-pedalling mid-on, departing for 18 but leaving the Strollers well placed at 148-2 after 26 overs. Skipper Oliver waltzed out and immediately put the foot down, leading to talk from the middle order that 280-300 was on the cards.
Addis continued to sweep, scoop and stroke his way toward three figures and proceeded to lift his bat toward the pavilion in celebration of roughly his 800th straight ton at Pinkneys Green. Some muscled boundaries soon followed before he finally departed for a hard earned 137. Quick hitting from Oliver with 55 and Pittams with 19 meant 107 were taken off the last 10 overs, and the Strollers finished with 284-4. Despite racing to 19, Pittams managed just a single measly six, bringing into question his cricketing ability allegedly on show during the Cotswolds tour.
The total felt defendable, and the Strollers went into the field with a strong bowling attack. A slew of short-pitched bowling from Peter Wood, Rob Wall and George "pup" Love put paid to this confidence however, with Edgware racing to 85 off the first ten overs. The pitch was continuing to play true, and the left-handed opener Awais was particularly savage on anything loose. Better lengths were gradually found, and the sage heads of Jim Hodgson and Alastair Macaulay started to limit the runs. Wickets were not looking likely until Addis intervened with a magnificent direct hit from deep square leg.
The Strollers quickly seized on this opportunity, targeting the new batsman ruthlessly and allowing only 40 runs during overs 21-30 as four wickets fell. This included the second direct hit run-out of the day, Wood crucially taking out the opener Awais for 110. Though from a lot closer in than Addis's direct hit, the dismissed batsman had more than twice as many runs so could be considered at least twice as important.
Hodgson and Macaulay finished their spells with figures of 1-34 and 2-50 respectively, leaving the game evenly poised with Edgware 204-5 with 10 to play.
The new pair of Wahab and Salman quickly settled in and began finding the boundary where needed, keeping just ahead of the required run-rate and bringing the equation down to 35 from five overs, 16 from three and eventually two from the last over. Despite some last-ditch efforts from the fielding team and a few tense yes-no-maybes from the batsman, the winning single was scored with three balls remaining.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match fees: Sam Brodbeck. Match report: Peter Wood.
Ministry of Justice
Thursday July 11 at Barn Elms
Strollers won by nine wickets
Ministry of Justice 161-5
(20 overs; Travis 2-21, James Stubbs 2-35, Richie Stubbs 1-18)
Strollers 162-1
(16.3 overs; Wall 41no, Oliver 27no, McDougall 26no, Hancock 24no, Robertson 19no)
In full disclosure, I was running late (literally, I ran from Covent Garden) so unfortunately I cannot say with any certainty who won the toss, how good we were feeling, or what the warm-up routine consisted of really.
However, by the time I arrived it was clear we were fielding and we were three overs in. The pitch looked in good nick, although perhaps a bit stickier than previous weeks, and the outfield was quick as usual. The sun was out too, so a good game was beckoning.
The MoJ were looking to score runs and were doing relatively comfortably in the process. The MoJ were one down when I took the field in the fourth over, but their No 1 and No 3 were scoring quite freely. Unfortunately I didn’t get a look at their own batting scorecard but they put on around 30 runs before Stubbs Junior had the opener caught by Stubbs Senior for 23 and the No 3 caught by your correspondent in a sort of jumping reverse cup manoeuvre at mid-off for 23 (I noticed he was driving in the air so I moved up a couple of steps and voila, caught him next ball).
Any thought of a quick game went away when their No 4 and No 5 put on close to a 50-run partnership. Both retired over 30, leaving them north of 100-3 with a fair few overs to play. Advantage MoJ at this stage.
In typical fighting Strollers spirit we fought back and managed to restrict the runs - in particular, Stubbs Senior, who had their No 6 trapped on four while Blair Travis bowled a dangerous looking No 7 for 15. No more wickets followed but with the MoJ score at 161 it was very much game on with a confident MoJ fancying their chances. Our wicket-takers’ figures ended up at Travis 2-21, James Stubbs 2-35, and Richie Stubbs 1-18.
Opening up were Hamish McDougall and myself. Their opening bowlers bowled consistent lines and through a spread field they managed to restrict the boundaries quite a lot. Sick of scoring singles to long-off your correspondent tried to go over the top but didn’t manage to clear long- on, who took a one-handed catch behind his back a few metres in from the boundary. McDougall carried on to score a very tidy 26 retired with Glen Oliver, who was equally stylish for his 27 retired.
The batting line-up was strong on paper and this showed in Oscar Hancock carrying his bat for 24. He provided the perfect partner for birthday boy Rob Wall, who scored a massive 41 retired with perhaps the best innings I’ve seen at Barnes (standing as the umpire at the bowler’s end for all of it I can say this with some authority).
Despite the heavily protected boundary and some good length bowling from the MoJ, Wall was able to find the gaps and go over the ropes when required. It was a shame his innings had to be curtailed by the gentleman’s rule but that simply allowed Pete Robertson to get us over the line with a safe 19 not out.
We got the job done with 3.3 overs to spare and despite the good bowling and decent total to chase, this game never looked out of reach once the boundaries started to flow. Many thanks to the MoJ for giving us a good game and hopefully we get to play them next season.
Capt : Pete Robertson. Wkt: Oscar Hancock.
Match fees: Blair Travis. Match report: Justin Fredrickson.
Tadworth
Sunday July 21 at Tadworth
Strollers lost by 97 runs
Tadworth 287
(40 overs; Hodgson 5-29, Macaulay 2-55, Pittams 1-16, Travis 1-56, Colbeck 1-70)
Strollers 190
(37.3 overs; Oliver 56 ret ht, Pittams 34, Loan 28, Beale 24)
With half the team still revelling in England’s World Cup glory, and the other half wanting to disappear into a case of Tui’s and a large bag of Minties, it was in no doubt that the game of cricket was in the spotlight. Could today’s match live up to the excitement set the previous weekend?
Conditions were good, the pitch a distant blur from the pavilion, captain Glen Oliver was on a tossing roll and chose to field first. Something was already awry...
Traffic on the M25 meant Mike Pittams was thrown the new ball. He certainly got the most out of his two overs, delivering no less than 20 variation balls, so it’s fair to say he was still finding his line and length when he took the first wicket of the game. After ensuring that opener Neil Williams was in complete doubt about what was coming next, it was the slow-paced half-tracker that was prodded tentatively to cover. He could have had another should the caught and bowled chance that quickly followed had stuck, but as it stands I’m not sure he’ll be opening next week.
Theo Kenyon, the No 3, soon got the measure of the pitch and proceeded to emulate the England cricket team’s expansive game, by testing the out-fielders set by Blair Travis at the other opening end. Jim Hodgson pegged them back briefly, but the opposition were finding the middle more often than not and quickly raced to 83-1 after 10 overs.
Travis toiled away and eventually got that breakthrough when he claimed the wicket of Giles Baker (60) after the skipper held on to one near the boundary edge. Take note Trent Boult.
Tom Colbeck, Simon Brodbeck and Alastair Macaulay added some spice to the attack, but extras were all too frequent. As usual, more often than not it was the bad ball that did the damage - Colbeck finishing on 1-70 off eight, Brodbeck 0-40 off four and Macaulay 2-55 off seven.
Aidan Selby was called into the bowling attack, unusually, but tied up an end admirably for Hodgson to return to the other end and produce a ferocious couple of overs in which he took five wickets for three runs. It was a shame he could not claim his first hat-trick in his ‘347 millionth over’, but it doesn’t come much closer - the hat-trick ball skimming the top of the bails.
Alas, the damage was already done and the Strollers were set 288 at tea which, for the statisticians out there, is a required rate of 7.2 an over. Fortunately conversation was deflected onto the Silver Ferns, who were preparing for their country’s second World Cup final in a week, as they took on the Australians in the netball. Surely the Kiwis weren’t going to choke again...
Mike Loan and Michael Beale opened the batting, but faced an unerringly accurate opening attack. Vijay Vaghela was, in particular, difficult to get away as he delivered three maidens in a row, and at the other end Mike Baldwin conceded only seven runs in his first three overs. The required run-rate was now at 8.2.
As if by telepathy, or maybe distant verbal encouragement, the bat started to flail and the runs began to flow. More risks were going to have to be taken.
It was the 14th over when the first dismissal happened - Loan (28) - and soon after Hamish McDougall (7). Beale battled away for his 24, but was dismissed by a very sharp catch, pulling one to short fine leg.
With the required run rate now at 10.45 at the 20th over, it was looking like it might be Tadworth’s day.
Buoyed by the arrival of the club chairman Kimball Bailey, skipper Oliver (54) and Pittams (34) started to make an assault on this seemingly monstrous required rate. Chairman Bailey had to leave before he turned into a pumpkin, but added encouragingly that he looked forward to reading about the victory in the match report.
With 10 overs to go the score was at 170-4 (11.8 rpo required), and with the skipper still at the crease anything was possible - that was until he jarred his knee whilst turning for an urgent second. Some say it was another convenient not-out to bolster his average, but that would be cruel. We wish him a speedy recovery for the French tour, that’s for sure.
The subsequent tail did not wag hard enough unfortunately, and the innings was concluded in the 38th over with the score at 190.
At least the Ferns didn't wilt.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt and match fees: Hamish McDougall.
Match report: Tom Colbeck.
Nantes
Saturday July 27 in Parc du Grand Blottereau
Strollers won by nine wickets
Nantes 135
(27.4 overs; Selby 3-5, Wall 2-14, Macaulay 2-29, Mike Daly 1-3, Taylor 1-16, Simon Brodbeck 1-34)
Strollers 138-1
(20 overs; Addis 59no, Fredrickson 57no, Selby 12)
Warm weather, red wine, rural France…and cricket too. What more can one want?
A bare statement of cricket facts does not always do justice to the happenings they record. Also, it sometimes takes time to appreciate fully the matters one has witnessed. Suffice to say that a week in Brittany, touring with the Patstons, has helped give a rosé glow to the events of Saturday in Nantes, as well as an early evaluation of the introduction of the ten-ball over.
Under the watchful but sympathetic eye of Peter Patston, and with the support of a bevy of Strollettes and children too, Strollers captain Jono Addis chose to field first. Nantes batted steadily, and reached 95-3 by the 18th over. Honours were about even; Simon Brodbeck had dismissed danger man Baruda for 46 and, early in the innings, Mike Daly had taken a stunning catch, the first of three, to check Nantes’ progress. Rob Wall had dismissed the two Nantes openers.
Step forward Aidan Selby, well respected by his peers, to bowl possibly the first ten-ball over in Strollers history, and to give a foretaste of what will happen when the “100” is introduced next year, with its ten-ball overs. An over of infinite variety followed: no ball, wide, wicket, one, no ball, wide, dot, wicket, dot, wicket: 1-0-5-3. Mere words undervalue the enormity of Aidan’s achievement; suffice to say that the direction of the game was irredeemably altered by this one over.
There were other actors in the drama. The Strollers did well to bowl out Nantes for 135 in 27.4 overs. Wickets were shared around: Wall 2-14, Brodbeck 1-34, Alastair Macaulay 2-29, Brian Taylor 1-16 and Daly 1-3. Jim Hodgson bowled seven good overs but had little luck.
Strollers made light of their batting task, even with Glen Oliver carrying an injury. They lost Selby for 12 with the score at 31, but a partnership of 97 runs between captain Addis and Justin Fredrickson saw victory achieved in 20 overs by nine wickets. Both batsmen scored fifties. Justin’s 57 included two sixes and seven fours, and Jono’s knock contained 11 fours.
What was looking like a close game became, in the end, quite an easy victory. Our friendly hosts probably under-performed and no doubt will be seeking revenge next year, when they will have foreknowledge of our secret weapon.
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt: Justin Fredrickson.
Match report: Brian Taylor.
Des Ormes
Sunday July 28 in Domaine Des Ormes
Strollers won by six wickets
Des Ormes 267-7
(35 overs; Wall 2-53, Hodgson 1-27, Addis 1-31, Macaulay 1-39, Fredrickson 1-43)
Strollers 268-4
(33 overs; Fredrickson 108no, Selby 89, Mike Daly 26, Addis 18, McDougall 16)
Having had the pleasure of the late night company of wise heads such as Jim & Jo, Peter & Maggie et al, this scribe is able to give a full and clear-eyed account of the Strollers’ first-ever victory against Des Ormes.
There would have been a very worried look on skipper Jono Addis’s face if he had seen half of his bowling line-up out exploring Nantes at 3am.
The after-effects of this were obvious as the tired and emotional troops made their way north towards Dol-de-Bretagne.
Addis called correctly and the Strollers walked onto the hallowed turf of Chateau Des Ormes - another wonderful setting. The team really is thankful to the Strollers present and past for developing the culture and relationships to a point where we are invited to play in such beautiful places.
Princess Wall struggled with the surface of the artificial pitch and bowled numerous pies and wides in his first over. He was fortunate to pick up the wicket of their opener, who smashed it straight to backward point.
Jim Hodgson, on the other hand, was showing no signs of the early-morning antics, cantering through his allotted seven overs with 1-27.
With Princess removed from the bowling attack after two dreadful overs, the skipper's challenge was who to bowl from the other end. Alastair Macaulay was the choice, and despite square boundaries tighter than the fairways on the adjoining golf course, kept the run-rate under control. This was a massive effort given that the Strollers’ arch nemesis Madu Bala was in and scoring freely.
Overs 10-25 were a game of cat and mouse with Bala. The Strollers spread the field (five of the 10) to the boundary and bowled disciplined lines. The strategy was to give up just enough runs to make the batsman feel like the score is ticking over, without either conceding a flurry of boundaries (or making the batsman think they had to). This worked well, and at 25 overs the score was a very “under control” 150.
Enter Aidan Selby. After bowling the “over of the century” on the previous day against Nantes, hopes were high for him to deliver another good set. Despite bowling 30 perfect practice deliveries, Selby's one-over contribution lasted 14 deliveries. In the words of umpire Glen Oliver: “I only ended the over as I was sick of sending my arms out sideways.” In fairness to Selby, the over could have been different if Rob Wall had not put down a simple chance on the boundary first ball (which fell from a height of several hundred metres).
The innings was closed out by Wall, Justin Fredrickson, Addis and Brian ‘Dan Vettori’ Taylor - who had a great weekend with the ball. Bala retired on an unbeaten 103 and Des Ormes posted a formidable 267-7 in their 35 overs.
A magnificent lunch was supplied by David Hird from Des Ormes. It involved wasps, endless baguettes, cheeses, ham, tuna and local vegetables. There was enough for everyone to have multiple servings. An absolute highlight of the trip for this scribe. Simply world class.
And whilst world class might not describe the Strollers batting line-up, the successful chase that followed was - in our own little Strollers universe - certainly close to that level.
Fredrickson adopted his now famous crouched low stance at the crease and faced the first over against tall Yorkshireman Wayne Ackroyd. The first short ball faced was dispatched to the square boundary. This set the tone for a fluent innings of 108 not out.
The highlight was the extended celebration of the ton from Fredrickson, whose helmet got stuck on his head. Well after the applause had stopped from both teams, he raised both hands and helmet to the sky to acknowledge his first century in any cricket. This capped off an excellent weekend for Justin who, with 165 runs without being dismissed and useful contributions with ball and keeping gloves, proved his all-round abilities. Rumour has it Simon has already put a call into his friends at NZ immigration to try and extend Fredrickson's stay for another season.
Selby shrugged off the bowling woes to prove his quality as a batsman, scoring a delicious 89 off 53 balls. With the finish line in sight he decided to miss a full toss on middle stump.
This brought in Mike Daly who flayed the ball everywhere for 26 until he also succumbed with just four runs to score.
This led to what some have referred to as the greatest example of talking a game and following through on it. For two days Wall had been bleating to all and sundry of how he wanted to bat higher. He then pronounced before heading out that he was going to smash the first ball for four. Wall faced up to a wide full toss, edged it to the boundary to win the game for the Strollers and walked off through cheering crowds – now supplemented by Tom Wood and Evan Samuel, fresh from their golfing journey from Calais.
The victorious team retreated to the Ibis Page in Saint-Malo and celebrated at Le Bouche a Oreille with wine, cidre and oysters well into a beautiful evening.
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt: Hamish McDougall.
Match report: Rob Wall.
Hackney Village
Wednesday July 31 at Barn Elms
Strollers won by eight wickets
Hackney Village 125
(18.4 overs; Low 3-11, Selby 2-12, Pittams 1-2, Keightley 1-5, Lachlan Williams 1-8, Fredrickson 1-14, Beale 1-28)
Strollers 126-2
(15 overs; Low 26no, Robertson 25no, Williams 24no, Travis 13no, Keightley 13)
It was a delayed start to the Strollers’ final midweek fixture of the season, against Hackney Village, as first-time skipper Robert Eugene “The Salt and Pepper Princess” Wall was busy on the phone to Glen Oliver.
Gathered players waited as, in hushed tones, Wall transmitted pitch and weather information. Glen soon arrived with not just the team kit, but also a thick envelope for The Salt and Pepper Princess, before furtively disappearing again. With pre-match commitments now completed, Wall informed the shell-shocked opposition captain that Hackney would be batting first and that was the end of that. He then dispatched Mike Pittams, Blair Travis and Richard Keightley to move the covers and Lachlan Williams to put the stumps in the ground before lying back on the turf as Pete Robertson fanned him with a palm frond and Aidan Selby fed him grapes. Welcome to the Wall show.
The reason Robertson and Selby had been so eagerly fanning and feeding Wall (I think I even saw Aidan rubbing his feet at one stage too) soon become apparent, as they were entrusted with initial custodianship of the shiny pink Dukes. Power corrupts, and midweek captaincy of the Strollers corrupts absolutely – as well we know.
Selby, fresh from three wickets in (presumably) one of the single best overs in Strollers history in Nantes, showed uncharacteristic accuracy and control in picking up 2-12 off his two overs. Two overs apiece was all Wall needed to see from his openers, dismissing them with a summary flick of his wrist – not unlike a Roman Senator to a servant, that they might leave the room and let him get on with his orgy.
This lazy and frugal hand motion was in stark contrast to his feet, which spent the innings imitating a whirling dervish. Having made the rather eccentric decision to keep wicket wearing no form of lower body protection, the Salt and Pepper Princess-Captain would begin close to the stumps and, as the bowler approached the crease, effect an almost tidal, twinkle-toed ebb back towards the boundary, to protect both legs and crown jewels.
Speaking of crown jewels, John Low came into the attack and immediately made his presence felt by dislodging the off bail to bring about the Strollers’ third breakthrough. Just a moment later, Hackney Village’s new batsman hit a return catch back at John at something approaching the speed of sound, and with the power of two tectonic plates crashing together.
The slap of leather on (giant) hand was roughly as loud as the squealing on the Central Line east of Central London - so you know the ball was hit hard. With a minimum of both fuss and ado, John swallowed the chance to make it two in an over. It was only as he was pouching the return rocket that fellow Strollers had cause to notice, for the first time, the enormous size of his hands. There are bucket hands, and then there are dinner plate hands, and then there are John’s anatomical marvels. I am not a Doctor… or maybe I'd need to be a herpetologist... anyway, I'm neither a Doctor nor a herpetologist, but I am here to tell you that John Low’s hands belong in a circus.
Wall, staking a claim for future leadership honours, showcased some highly innovative captaincy tactics, including a cordon of no fewer than three short covers to the bowling of Rbo Keightley (resulting almost immediately in a screamer of a catch by Lachy Williams at ‘second/middle short cover’, which unfortunately no one was all that impressed by since his hands are so much smaller than John's), and a constant rotation of bowlers which resulted in ten Strollers rolling their arms over.
This gave us the opportunity to see Michael Beale's unique left-armed stylings in action. Difficult though it will be to do justice to (as a picture can tell a thousand words, I really could do with one of those to do the job for me - and a snap of John's appendages for that matter), I will do my best.
Beale begins his run-up from a distance of about 25 yards, shifting efficiently through the gears and reaching top speed by the time he hits the crease. Clearly he has read somewhere that you want to be hitting the crease hard, so he does exactly that, channelling all of his considerable athleticism to the cause.
At the point of delivery the ball suddenly appears - erstwhile obscured by the crumpled greyish beige of his 'whites', the inept laundering of which I can now see is a tactic to prevent the batsman from ascertaining which is the shiny side, thus which way the ball is liable to reverse - as Beale begins his action.
In a split second, all of the bustling physicality of his run-up screams to a halt, almost as though there is a Manichean clash of ideas going on inside his head and body. As every schoolboy knows, Manichaeism is an elaborate dualistic cosmology describing the struggle between a good, spiritual world of light, and an evil, material world of darkness.
Like an angry dog who has reached the end of its lead, or a particularly pimped out boy racer car confronted by a series of speed humps, all that power and momentum are replaced by static uncertainty. Where just a moment ago a stallion galloped towards the popping crease, suddenly a newborn antelope foal, shaky on its legs and unconfident in the vast Rift Valley full of predators appears. So much speed coming so quickly to a halt makes you immediately worry that he might have twisted an ankle or dislocated a knee.
The delivery of the cricket ball gives you no reason to cast aside that worry. Up soars the ball. Up, up, up. Higher and higher, like a mistimed Te Toiroa Tahuriorangi box kick - or indeed Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe after drinking illicit fizzy lifting drink.
Just when you think the shiny pink Dukes is going to enter orbit and never be seen again, down it begins to fall! Down, down, down - like any Stroller's spirits after a long conversation with George Love, trying to comprehend his peculiar brand of gibberish. Reaching speeds of up to 16 miles per hour, the Dukes will pitch either on a length of sorts (where length is defined as around 8 metres - or 14 lengths of John's hands... short of the batsman), or not at all.
The result can vary too - some fours, some sixes, some huuuuuuuuge sixes, and occasionally, when Beale really hits his areas (the full toss into the top of the thigh pad - just below the no ball height), an uncomfortable top edge into no man's land. I may sound like I am mocking him, but have you ever tried to negotiate a ball, roughly twice the weight of a usual cricket ball due to the snow it has accumulated in its journey, falling down on to the top of your thigh pad at an almost vertical angle? The average technique simply does not prepare one for such challenges of batsmanship.
After sneaking a wee double-bouncer (the second one was inside the popping crease, so put it back in your pants Oliver) through the defence of Hackney's No 9 to register figures of 1-28 off two overs, Nick Daly cut a forlorn figure as he disgustedly threw his Strollers cap to the ground on the square leg boundary. Having spent most of Beale's spell retrieving enormous sixes hit over his head on to the running track, Daly was undergoing the painful realisation that his own figures (0-16) paled in comparison to Beale's. Today at least, Beale was officially the better bowler. Eying the cap that has for the last six weeks been his prized possession, he aimed a frustrated kick at it. Will this mean respite for Mike Daly, who Nick keeps badgering to "draw me like one of your French girls" wearing the cap (and only the cap)? I'm sure he will report back to us on this matter.
Continuing to shuffle his bowlers, the skipper even invited Pittams to deliver some cacophonously released leg breaks. At about this stage, several Strollers started to connect the dots and realise what was taking place. Before the match Wall had been overheard complaining about Sarah - the poor woman he has hypnotised and who now lives with him - wanting him to get a haircut to remove some of the salt from his Salt and Pepper Crown. In Wall’s opinion he looks better with the extra silver. Wanting his hair to be longer, floppier and lighter in colour... rotating his bowlers just as quickly as a certain conservative PM has shuffled his Cabinet... suddenly we understood! Wall is trying to imitate Boris Johnson! Somewhat of a surprise given in physique and lifestyle he seems intent on resembling another British leader - Winston Churchill... but nevertheless a plausible theory. When Pittams also 'earned' a wicket, Daly announced that now he had seen everything, and sat down and stared at the sky, waiting for it to snow.
The innings closed when Low sauntered back to the crease, swinging all over the place, and took his third wicket to bowl Hackney Village out for 125 – finishing with the impressive figures of 3-11.
Having stolen the show with the ball, Low was invited to improvise as best he could with regards protective kit and open the batting. Using a pair of rubbish bin lids as gloves, and an ice cream container as a box, he got us off to a flying start. Holding his enormous piece of willow, he peppered the boundary on his way to 26* (six fours, and a couple of bouncing Linford Christie-esque singles) and a very quick retirement.
This brought Beale in to join Keightley, who was soon caught for 13 including three boundaries. Robertson picked up where Low left off, in a typically pugnacious mood as he peppered the boundary in the V on his way to a rapid 25* of his own. Beale, meanwhile, was mistiming the pants off the white ball, directly to fielders. Perhaps fatigued from his bowling exploits (it can't be easy to hit the crease as hard as he did, to say nothing of the stress the knees must have to take to convert so much speed and energy into motionless standstill at the point of release), Beale struggled to find his best form before having his castle stormed – in a fashion that made Aidan sigh wistfully for Glen’s absence – for seven.
Lachy Williams came and went for 24* - retired one run short of the magical feeling of bringing up a Strollers quarter-century by Skipper Wall, who was finding it difficult to exert as much authority now we were batting, and wanted to remind everyone who was in charge.
Travis and Selby finished off an eight-wicket victory, leaving Justin Fredrickson padded up ready to bat and hoping to debut his vividly coloured new Strollers cap. Fortunately he wasn't too hungry for runs, having feasted on Frenchmen in Brittany with the sort of voracious appetite more commonly associated with Alastair Macaulay. Nick Daly on the other hand, due to come in after Fredrickson, was left once again kicking various articles of clothing in his frustration at not getting an opportunity to better Beale with the bat.
So it was off to the Red Lion for an end of season bash that was considerably tamer than 2018's, without Captain Gary Ngo's bottle of brandy to get the party started. Somewhat surprising for Captain Wall to compare unfavourably in this department - but perhaps further proof that he is more Bo-Jo than Win-Church. It is early in his leadership and I am sure he will look to improve.
Daly of the Day was awarded to Mike Beale - who out-bowled the only Daly present so convincingly that the selectors had no choice but to send him home with the coveted prize for the first time. Congratulations to him. John changed into a pair of shorts, which mercifully were nice and long. Pittams’ fielding and catching were both complimented at length, as was Rbo’s lovely beard. Lachy's new bride Ashley joined us in the garden bar following her rugby pre-season training, enabling us to raise a glass to their nuptials, and in other noteworthy news Wall eschewed his usual favourite (the chicken and leek pie) and opted instead for bangers and mash. Can we read into this that Wall is sick of the monotonous routine of his life and is considering quitting his job and pursuing his dream of becoming a country musician? Very possibly.
Other end of season awards included:
- Most cats chased (with a new club record of 68, woooo-woooo-woooooo!!!!!!!): George 'Puppy' Love.
- The Geoffrey Boycott salver, for most stoic innings in the face of Thames Valley adversity: Ivor Fiala.
- The Jonny Bairstow Cup, for most birds flipped to the media and most 'haters' proved wrong: Rob "I'm actually a batsman!!!" Wall.
- The Bronze Pedalo, for Flintoff-esque show-stealing all-round performance: John Low.
- The Gary Pratt Claret Jug, for most outstanding run-out from a non-regular: Alastair Macaulay.
- The Tyson Trophy, for most impressive marital punching above one's weight: Aidan Selby.
- Daly of the Season: Nick Logan.
- The Guptill-Stokes Certificate, for distorted results brought about via careless overthrows/ricochets/deflections: Michael Pittams, Blair Travis, Justin Fredrickson.
- The Di Caprio-Winslet Award for steaminess in an enclosed vehicle: Rob Wall and Glen Oliver in one of their many jaunts between Barn Elms Common and Barnes Station.
- The Chris Woakes Plate, for soldiering through with a perennially dicky knee: Lachlan Williams.
With another fun midweek season over, big thanks go to Glen for carting the kit around, Richie Stubbs for organising the fixtures, and Glen, Aidan and Rbo for their match management feats.
Capt and wkt: Rob Wall. Match fees: Aidan Selby.
Match report: Mike Pittams.
Hurley
Sunday August 4 in Hurley
Strollers won by five wickets
Hurley 198-9 dec
(43 overs; Macaulay 3-42, Loan 2-17, Wall 1-8, Simon Brodbeck 1-12, Peter Wood 1-19, Nick Daly 1-35)
Strollers 202-5
(36.3 overs; Loan 79no, Selby 37, Pittams 33, Robertson 18, Mike Daly 17)
Sundry Strollers, looking a little worse for wear, arrived at the picturesque Hurley ground.
Rob “I’m actually a batsman” Wall was clutching his KFC tightly; Peter Wood was still trying to reach the high notes achieved at karaoke the previous evening; Nick Daly was looking generally dishevelled. Despite their varying states, they managed to spot a large tree making up part of the outfield and were informed it would count for four runs if hit.
The match reporter was given strict instructions not to plunge to the depths plumbed by our star scribe against Hackney Village the Wednesday before. That ruled out any mention of captaincy corruption, Mike Beale’s moon balls or the size of John Low’s hands.
The teamsheet read as a replica of Noah’s Ark with two Petes, two Dalys and four Mikes climbing aboard. It left Simon Brodbeck wondering what the collective noun for Dalys was. Having settled on a ‘week of Dalys’ he went out for the toss in lieu of the absent captain, Alastair Macaulay (languishing on a gridlocked M25).
Pete Robertson, Macaulay and Beale arrived eventually by which time the stand-in skipper had won the toss and Mike Pittams had given away four byes. He generously credited these to Beale’s account.
Rob “I’m actually a batsman” Wall and Wood opened the attack, with Wall continuing in search of his outswinger. It was last spotted heading down to fine leg.
Some curious field placements saw experimentation with two short covers and two short midwickets, though the chances still did not come. Wood then made the breakthrough with a ball that did enough to beat the bat and crash into the pad, outfoxing Shoaib Kayani just as he was getting into his stride.
Nick Daly came into the attack and tried to surprise the batsman with some meat pie and sausage roll style bowling which initially did not reap reward. He finally bowled a straight one which must have caught the batsman by surprise as he hoicked it high to mid-on. Wood, humming his favourite song from the night before, Dancing Queen, was also taken by surprise but managed to collect himself to stick out a right arm and take a stunning one-handed catch over his head.
Yasir Gul was the pick of the Hurley batsman and along with extras, started to build a total.
Brodbeck came into the attack and, as is often the way of things, took a wicket from a low full toss that the batsman was looking to pounce on. Mike Loan came on and produced a half-chance for the lively Aidan Selby, who made a spectacular leap and was unlucky not to pull in the catch. Loan then managed to remove the dangerous Gul for a well made 52 and arrest the run-rate at the same time.
Macaulay was the pick of the bowlers, coming in and bowling very tightly to snare three miserly wickets.
Macaulay obviously felt that there was not enough for his batsmen to chase and turned to Mike Daly, who served up some exquisite buffet bowling. The bowling would have given the “all you can eat” Indian feast that Pittams and Wall were planning on consuming that evening a run for its money.
The innings ended with Hurley on 198-9 as they made a sporting declaration. The teams headed in for tea and an Ashes update. The Edgbaston score gave the delicious tea a slightly sour taste so the Strollers directed their attention to the club honours board instead. They noted that local legend Phil Ridgeway appeared on the board umpteen times and when they enquired further it was discovered he had scored over 40,000 runs and taken more than 1,500 wickets - stats that more than a few Strollers would like to be associated with.
Having taken inspiration from the honours board, Selby and Robertson replied positively with some straight hitting against some good bowling. Robertson was undone by a ball which did just enough to take his off stump and end a promising partnership of 39. This brought Loan to the crease and without hesitation he got stuck into the Hurley attack. Loan dragged Selby (37), Pittams (33) and Mike Daly (17) along for the ride. Wood came in at No 6 and had no intention of hanging around, hitting his first ball for four before holing out in the deep off his second delivery.
Having told anyone who would listen at tea about his capability with willow in hand, Wall came to the crease. He was lucky to avoid Nick Daly’s trigger finger on one delivery and then saw off the game with a couple of fine French cuts.
The total was chased down in the 37th over with Loan finishing unbeaten on 79 and Wall soaking up the applause down the other end with a five not out master class.
The win was celebrated with pints of Rebellion and strong orange squash. Daly of the Day was awarded to Mike Beale. With the spoils settled, most Strollers headed home while Pittams and Wall bounced off to the “all you can eat” Indian buffet...report to follow.
Capt: Alastair Macaulay. Wkt: Michael Beale.
Match fees: Rob Wall. Match report: Mike Daly.
Valley End
Sunday August 11 at Valley End
Strollers won by six wickets
Valley End 141
(29.4 overs; Dela Rue 3-11, Macaulay 2-12, Colbeck 2-25, Keightley 2-26, Nick Daly 1-35)
Strollers 142-4
(32.4 overs; McDougall 79no, Beale 34, Keightley 12)
This cricketing escapade saw the Strollers traverse the tree-lined lanes leading off the M3, landing at the Surrey village of Valley End. It’s near the village of Windlesham and the real estate in this area of England is unreal. A quick search of Wikipedia has a lengthy list of notable residents. Even HM the Queen is said to have lived in Windlesham one time before her coronation.
Our very own Ivor Fiala also lives in the surrounding area and rumour has it that Ivor was first man present at the ground. A reputable source has claimed this to be an extraordinarily rare occurrence; that this event of Strollers folklore must be documented in today’s match report. One wonders how many times Ivor has achieved this punctual feat since making his Strollers debut in 1978.
Alastair Macaulay and Jim Hodgson arrived proudly sporting the FSSCC Brittany 2019 Tour polo. These dapper polo shirts really stood out amongst us other rabble. Tom Colbeck, skipper for the day, was keen to get the action under way ASAP. The skies seemed uncertain and close inspection of the pitch screamed “BATSMEN BEWARE”! At least, from afar the wicket looked well used; the low and slow type.
Colbeck won the toss and had the Strollers promptly in the field; however names were still being checked off the teamsheet when this revelation was announced. Richard Keightley and Michael Beale were the absent duo, and when Keightley arrived without Beale a few heads started to spin. The alarm was brief, as Beale was spotted emerging from the trees at the far end of the ground.
The main noteworthy events to report from the first innings fielding effort were how astonishingly straight the Strollers bowlers delivered the ball. Eight wickets were taken bowled, one wicket was taken lbw, at the cost of just two wides in all of 30 overs. Only Macaulay broke ranks by having his first wicket dismissed as caught but that was largely due to the athleticism of Colbeck, who made up 20 yards to take a running catch.
Nick Daly and Hodgson opened up with six overs’each, with Daly rewarded with the first wicket to fall via lbw. Colbeck, bowling first change, got amongst the wickets in the only way he knows: jammy.
The Valley End No 3 - George Williams-Sales - appeared to oppose the main threat, but Colbeck bowled him for 23 with a snorting leg-spinner after softening him up the ball before with a body blow high up on the thigh. His second wicket was debated in the post-wicket team huddle: whether the opposing batsmen had knocked the ball into his own stumps or whether the batsmen had missed the ball entirely and knocked the stumps himself with his bat.
Keightley bowled some devious cutting deliveries, utilising the natural slanting angle in the pitch, to collect two victims of his own. James Dela Rue had a debut spell to savour, hustling in with four overs of medium-fast, claiming 3-11 and bowling very straight, before Macaulay wrapped up the innings with his second wicket as Valley End were dismissed for 141.
Afternoon tea was seriously top-notch with jam-filled donuts and scones with jam and cream featuring highly in the memory of this scribe.
Opening batsmen Hamish McDougall led the Strollers response with the bat as he cut, pulled and dabbed to the best of his abilities on the way to an assured 79 not out, hitting some impressive boundaries square of the wicket as he controlled the tempo throughout his innings with aplomb.
Fellow opener Michael Beale scored a stoic 34, falling lbw two deliveries after the drinks break, having looked solid throughout the first stanza. Together, Beale and McDougall combined for an opening partnership of 93, giving short shrift to ny thought of a tricky run chase on a challenging batting wicket.
The dominating opening partnership made for an introspective wait for No 3 batsmen Blair Travis. So melancholic was his mindset when his turn came to bat, having watched tentatively for 20 overs, that he was clean bowled in the same over without scoring. Our next batsman, skipper Colbeck, was also dismissed not long afterwards, caught and bowled for four off the bowling of Cameron Tonkin, who by now had claimed all three wickets to fall for Valley End. He would finish his bowling spell with the figures of 4-0-11-3.
However, there was to be no infamous Strollers batting wobble on this afternoon, with Keightley restoring order at No 5, providing some much-needed backbone to our innings by scoring a circumspect 12 and supporting McDougall’s effort, as the runs required to win were chipped away.
With one swing of the bat needed for victory and glory within reach, Keightley tempted fate and was dismissed top-edging a delivery. Daly, chomping at the bit to get a turn at batting ever since the Hackney Village midweek (refer to Hackney match report written by Mike Pittams), duly charged his first delivery and hit a lofted drive over the bowler’s head to the boundary to secure an emphatic six-wicket victory with 7.4 overs remaining.
The sun shone for the post-match celebration as one or more jugs of England’s finest were passed around, as well as a few pints of larger (and strong orange squashes). There were also plenty of leftovers from afternoon tea to feast on too, enough to keep Beale and Travis content.
Then it rained for a while as everyone sought shelter inside before coming out sunny again, nothing less expected of the English summer weather. News from the pavilion was Manchester United were up 1-0 (and on their way to a thumping 4-0 victory) versus Chelsea at Old Trafford in their opening round fixture of the English Premier League. More than one individual were heard musing how ridiculous it is to have the new football season commencing at the height of summer (and before the beginning of the second Test of the 2019 Ashes series!!).
One further musing struck a chord with those Strollers present – that’s four victories in a row – and now it’s over to the Strollers XI for the Follies Farm match where recent victories have been as rare as boring match reports from Pittams.
Capt: Tom Colbeck. Wkt: Hamish McDougall.
Match fees: Richard Keightley. Match report: Blair Travis.
Wall
Saturday August 24 in Lichfield
Strollers won by 45 runs
Strollers 214-5
(40 overs; Selby 52, McDougall 49, Pittams 45, Oliver 31, Sam Brodbeck 11)
Wall 169-9
(40 overs; Simon Brodbeck 2-31, Oliver 1-5, Selby 1-10, Hodgson 1-13, Macaulay 1-23, Perrin 1-28, Sam Brodbeck 1-39)
Invitingly, the fiery globe in the firmament proved to be a more than adequate welcome to Wall after the Strollers had made the arduous long slog up the motorway from the South. As the clock ticked down, the Wall side were still waiting for the Dyche family – flying in from Geneva, so eager were they to pit their wits against the visitors.
The captains negotiated that the Strollers would bat first in a 40-over game. Battle eventually commenced with the visitors offering a few temporary fielders until the intrepid travellers eventually arrived.
Hamish McDougall took first strike partnered by Mike Pittams. In an hour and a quarter the pair put on 101 before McDougall was caught by Adam Dyche off Sethu Veerabadran for 49. The very next over Pittams was also caught by Adam Dyche for 45 - this time off Simon Foulds. Both must have been worn out in the heat running all their runs except for three boundaries (two fours, one six) struck by Mike - the boundaries were spread very wide.
A stand of 57 put together by Aidan Selby and skipper Glen Oliver moved the score along to 160 before Oliver was bowled by young George Dyche for 31 in the 33rd over.
Five overs later, and after a dozen consecutive scoring shots totalling 31, Selby was bowled by Adam Dyche during his second spell for a sparkling 52 (six fours and one six) with the score on exactly 200.
In the last but one over of the Strollers innings, Sam Brodbeck – who had supported Selby in a stand of 40 – became the second victim of George Dyche as he was bowled for 11. Ryan Duff, seven not out, and Jim Hodgson, two not out, batted out the 40 overs to finish on 214-5. As for Wall, their successful bowlers, who toiled away during the hottest part of the day – ended with the following figures: George Dyche 8-0-49-2, Sethu Veerabadran 4-0-21-1, Simon Foulds 8-0-29-1, Adam Dyche 8-0-45-1 (There were no maiden overs bowled).
After a welcome break for tea – and a vast array of sumptuous sandwiches and mouth-watering home-made cakes by Rae-Ann Craig – the Strollers took the field at 4.30pm in slightly cooler conditions. Richard Buxton and Abilash opened for Wall but found it difficult to get Hodgson away, scoring only nine runs off his first four overs.
Finlay Perrin, at the other end, although a bit loose to start, tightened up and bowled a wicket maiden in his fourth over when he had Abilash stumped by McDougall. Wall were only 26-1 after eight overs.
Makclan joined Buxton and they progressed the score to 63 when Simon Brodbeck clean bowled Makclan for 18 in his third over. Sam Brodbeck, bowling in tandem with his father, also clean bowled young George Dyche for nought.
Mixing up the attack, skipper Oliver decided to try some spin and brought on Alastair Macaulay, who promptly had opener Buxton bowled for 38 (five fours) in his very first over. Adam Dyche, who had struck a couple of fours in his 11,was then stumped off a Simon Brodbeck delivery. So just past halfway, Wall were on 95-5, putting the match in the balance.
After 24 overs Oliver brought himself on to bowl and in his third over had David Craig (6), his opposing skipper, top-edge a skier to Selby at gully and he took the catch running back.
This left Wall on 115-6 for after 29 overs and requiring 100 more runs off only 11 overs – a pretty tall order. However Foulds and Veerabadran put up stout resistance by adding 43 in a seventh-wicket partnership until Foulds was run out by an amazing direct hit as Pittams threw in from just inside the boundary from the longest corner of the ground. An incredible feat!
With a wicket (caught behind) for Selby from his one over and one for Hodgson (bowled) on his recall, Wall ended on 169-9 after their 40 overs.
Thus the Strollers won by 45 runs on the first outing of this Three Counties tour. May the victories continue...
Wall were as hospitable as ever; the sun beat down; and the Strollers crèche of young spectators was a hive of activity. A glorious day in every respect.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Hamish McDougall.
Match report: Ivor Fiala.
Stanton by Dale
Sunday August 25 at Stanton
Strollers won by 50 runs
Strollers 238-8
(40 overs; Oliver 58, Sam Brodbeck 46, Addis 42, Pittams 30)
Stanton 188
(39.3 overs; Hodgson 4-34, Simon Brodbeck 2-15, Macaulay 2-41, Salvesen 1-25, Sam Brodbeck 1-31)
Having played a good few matches for the midweek Strollers in recent seasons, I had thought myself inured to uncouth language and other such smut. I had to think again during our journey to Stanton by Dale during the 2019 Three Counties tour, when Steph Oliver brought tactical cricket discussions screaming to a halt by piping up with: “I can’t wait to see Tom Wood’s pickle!”.
Thinking I must have been hearing things, I reached for a nearby pair of sunglasses, and used the arms to clean out my ears. I realised my hearing was working quite well when, having removed a not inconsiderable quantity of aural excretion with Glen’s sunnies (thanks mate), I heard Steph continue: “I just hope his pickle is as pleased to see me as I will be to see it!”.
Glen seemed to be taking the news stoically, suggesting that “His pickle might even stand up on his hind legs with excitement”. Stair warned: “His pickle will often do that, but that initial burst of energy can sometimes be followed by a period of inactivity and sleepiness”. Shocked and appalled, I tuned out of further conversation and took to visualising the beautiful innings I hoped to play later that day.
Stanton by Dale, as many readers will already know, is a charming spot to play cricket. Its considerable beauty was amplified on Sunday by a cracking day of clear skies and 30 degree temperatures. Jono Addis, freshly arrived from an intense day of school holiday theme park visiting, took over stewardship responsibilities from Glen Oliver, who had skippered the day before. The transition seemed peaceful on the face of things, but make no mistake, in the post-Pax Timperley leadership vacuum there is a real rivalry developing here.
Jono lost the toss to a character who will be well familiar to readers of Strollers match reports. Brian Taylor, skippering the Stanton team on this occasion, was giving little away about the strength and composition of his team. It remained to be seen whether his loyalties were truly with Stanton – or whether instead he would be playing as a double agent.
Taylor won the toss and invited us to make first use of the mown strip – or batting D-floor, as it is more commonly known – in a 40-over match. Hamish McDougall and Mike Pittams were instructed to put on their dancing shoes (and pads and gloves) and open the innings.
Any thoughts that Taylor might defect to the Strollers were quickly put to bed, as he skilfully marshalled his very accurate opening bowlers, and placed his fielders in extremely astute (and annoying) fashion. Is there anything more frustrating than crunching a rare loose delivery straight to an expertly placed boundary rider, and getting only a single (and a mischievous wink from Brian) as reward for your fine(ish) strokeplay? Not in this scribe’s opinion. It’s also a thoroughly depressing experience to have a microscope shone so closely on one’s game, resulting inexorably in the realisation of how very limited one is as a player.
After Aditi Babla had reduced us to 34-2 by sending McDougall (caught mid-off for the second consecutive day – Brian’s deployment of spies at Wall paying immediate dividends) and Aidan Selby back to the pavilion, Sam Brodbeck joined Pittams at the crease. Brodbeck was immediately fluent, regularly finding the boundary, while Pittams continued to play an absolute pig’s ear of an innings – a far cry from the beautiful concoction he had visualised to avoid being corrupted in the car.
After being dropped no fewer than four times – in addition to two edges just past the keeper – Pittams’ misery was ended when bowled by Venu Mallina with the score at 85. Addis – delayed to the crease by his goonish inability to keep track of his batting gloves – and Brodbeck batted well until Sam was bowled by such a gorgeous delivery from the returning opener Nigel Colley that many observers suspected it was not a cricket ball, but instead a peach from the nearby orchard that had been delivered.
Colley had returned to bowl out his allotted overs perhaps earlier than expected, due to a certain left-arm spinner being warned (in suitably officious and authoritarian manner) by the umpire for unsportsmanlike conduct. After dropping short to Addis once too often and being despatched to the square leg boundary, the left-arm spinner quite extraordinarily kicked over the stumps in frustration. When asked if he was trying to emulate Michael Holding in Dunedin in 1980, the left-arm spinner (let’s call him ‘Agent B’) perked up a bit, quite liking the comparison in cricketing ability, athletic prowess, and possibly physique too…
When Addis edged behind for 42, the Strollers were 163-5 after 32 overs and still a way short of their desired total. Cometh the hour, cometh Glen Oliver, who hit out with brutal effect in a crucial back-to-the-wall innings of 58 from just 44 deliveries, including six boundaries and three (lost ball) maximums.
With supporting cameos from Ryan Duff, Tom Salvesen – not to mention an imperiously nudged one not out from Jim Hodgson, Oliver et al added 75 in the last eight overs and shepherded us through to a respectable 238-8.
Weighed down by the delicious tea prepared by Tricia Taylor, and reluctant to leave behind the radio commentary of Ben Stokes’ incredible efforts at Headingly, the Strollers waddled back out into the blazing sun. Salvesen and Hodgson kept things extremely tight, and after the first ten overs Stanton had been restricted to 22-3 – with all three wickets falling to Jim. At about this time, Selby decided that the shaded Strollers crèche-bar (note to self: this is a business idea worth developing further…) looked a much nicer proposition than the searing heat of the outfield, so took a firmly struck cover drive to the wrist in order to manufacture an excuse to sit in the shade with a cold drink while Strollettes fussed over him.
Though most Strollers weren’t too disappointed to see the back of him, Maggie Patston was most disappointed about this development, depriving her as it did of the ultimate scoring challenge – fitting a Selby over into a single box in the scorebook. When you’ve pristinely scored as many games as Maggie has, it’s this type of challenge that gets you up in the morning and keeps you at the pinnacle of your game!
After his exploits on the French Tour, Maggie had come prepared with magnifying glass and ultra-fine nibbed pencil at the ready. Alas, they would not be required this time. Twelfth man Finlay Perrin came out to fill the breach, and in short order Alastair Macaulay had engineered a fourth breakthrough, coaxing Stanton’s No 4 to hit high to long-on. Oliver, stationed in the deep for exactly such a shot, held a fine catch – made more challenging by the fact that he moved towards it at roughly the speed of a glacier on a cold day.
Speculation mounted as to when Agent B would enter the fray – and which side he would be on. Was he waiting for the cause to become a lost one before exerting his influence – thus aiding the Strollers? Or would he stride out at No 6 and imitate another tall left-hander in Ben Stokes – thus aiding Stanton? The coin landed on the side of the Strollers: Nic Perkins came in at six, and had his timbers shivered by Sam Brodbeck. Simon Brodbeck got in on the act next, pinning Babla in front of his stumps for 33 – but not before he’d made a mockery of our field placements by hitting a slew of unorthodox boundaries backward of square on both sides of the wicket (including depositing Stair into the sightscreen behind the keeper). Stair then picked up his second wicket, setting the scene for the man we’d all been waiting for…
Enter Agent B, on his home ground. Able to visualise its angles, its every nook and cranny, with his eyes closed. Able to suffocate fielders just be looking at them, guide balls into the orchard just by thinking about it, and leap tall buildings in a single bound. The score may have been 107-6, but the Strollers were taking nothing for granted – certainly not until Agent B had revealed who he was truly working for.
In short order this became clear. Facing up to Addis and Simon Brodbeck, Agent B immediately found the middle of his bat (of course he ruddy did), but intentionally found fielders, to whom he offered scarcely perceptible winks after each delivery. Agent B was our man after all!
This was confirmed beyond doubt when he chased a full wide delivery from Simon Brodbeck – a delivery he could only ever have hoped to edge – and nicked it into the safe gloves of McDougall. Like any good double agent, he was working two cases at the same time – Operation Tranter, and Operation Dismissals Record. His feathered edge closed McDougall to within one of the Mike Morgan’s long-standing Strollers wicketkeeping dismissals record (match managers look out for Mike’s emails expressing availability!).
As Salvesen returned to remove the dangerous Surosh William for 64, and Jim winkled out the final wicket with a sharp caught and bowled, it was clear that everyone had enjoyed a lovely day. Jo Perrin certainly had, overheard being told off by Bethany Addis after trying to tell her that her father was Aidan Selby, and not Jono. The writer presumes this was an honest mistake occasioned by the heat (and resulting need to stay ‘hydrated’ in time-honoured Strollette fashion), rather than the casting of any aspersions!
Beers and burgers in the setting sun rounded off the very best of days. To keep up appearances, Agent B pretended to be disappointed to hand over the Tranter Cup to Jono, but tipped off Strollers with several surreptitious touches of his nose. A great result and a true team effort, but on such a day who really cares who wins the cricket? Certainly not Steph Oliver, who had her hands full with Tom Wood’s pickle…
PLOT TWIST EXPLANATIONS:
*Pickle is Tom Wood’s energetic young Irish Greyhound/Whippet cross.
* The true identity of Agent B is… dun dun dun…. None other than Brian Taylor (ssshhhhhh don’t tell Stanton)!
Didn’t see those coming did ya? Minds. Blown.
Capt: Jono Addis. Wkt: Hamish McDougall.
Match report: Mike Pittams.
Sutton on the Hill
Monday August 26 at Sutton
Strollers won by nine wickets
Sutton 144
(40.2 overs; Oliver 3-6, Hodgson 3-29, Salvesen 2-15, Perrin 1-10, Taylor 1-19)
Strollers 147-1
(21.2 overs; Addis 67, Pittams 66no)
August 4, 2012, will be forever known as ‘Super Saturday,’ when Britain won six Olympic Gold medals, including four in 45 minutes, smashing records in the process. Perhaps future generations of Strollers will recognise August 26, 2019, as ‘Magic Monday,’ such were the momentous achievements on that day.
As the clock tocked past midnight, things did not begin auspiciously. The Riverside Hotel staff insisted that a party of thirsty Strollers decamp from the bar, prompting nostalgic muttering about Igor at the now defunct Royal Hotel in Ashby-de-la-Zouch.
Then, for the first time in living memory Jim Hodgson and the Patstons eschewed invites for digestifs and headed to bed. Peter’s absence meant there would be no reprise of Running Bear despite the proximity of the willowed banks of the lovely Trent, which winds its way through the Staffordshire countryside.
It was left to the fab four - Tom Wood, Mike Pittams, Ivor Fiala and Hamish McDougall - to make merry music back in Tom’s room. Wood’s Pickle was also in attendance and no doubt pleased to be among friends in Branston, but was exhausted by that day’s exertions, so had immediately collapsed into bed.
The fab four was held together by the lead air guitar of Fiala, who rocked out a banging Led Zeppelin riff. Ivor later confessed that in the 1970s he was more of a disco fan, and could often be seen striding the streets and clubs of Marylebone with bell bottom trousers, open neck shirt, flowing long hair and a girlfriend on his arm: “he’s a women’s man, no time to talk…”
Wood performed Robert Plant-like vocals admirably, McDougall pulled some bass notes in the corner and Pittams’ percussion was impeccable; his magnificent moustache twitching with the beat. The tunes were lubricated by McDougall’s bottle of Martinborough Pinot Noir, a gift for earlier completing 200 games. Time was eventually called on the impromptu recording session around 2am and attentions turned to Monday’s cricketing action.
The records continued as the day dawned sunny and hot, with nary a cloud. It was the first time anyone could remember three such occurrences on the Three Counties Tour.
Aidan Selby failed a fitness test at breakfast. The Strollers medical team had asked him to prove his fitness by opening his wallet to pay the previous day’s match fees. Unfortunately, he aggravated the bruised wrist in the process and was unable to complete the task. Selby’s injury meant he was out of the XI, with Hodgson in as first reserve.
Fin Perrin was presented with his baggy burgundy cap and polyester tie by skipper Alastair Macaulay in the pre-game build-up. We warmly welcome Fin to official Strollers ranks and are pleased the long-pursued youth policy still exists.
Macaulay raised some quizzical eyebrows (QEs) in the changing room by deciding to bowl first in a timed game, sending the Strollers into the field in 30 degree heat. Luckily Tom Salvesen (2-15) was undeterred, getting good movement down the slope, inducing edges from the Sutton top order.
McDougall broke a Strollers wicketkeeping record previously held by Mike Morgan. Hamish now officially has the most:
- vigorous appeals;
- QEs raised at not out stumpings;
- muttered swear words at balls smeared down the legside;
- teapots directed at misfields; and
- unheeded calls for teammates to back up throws at the bowler’s end.
He will hold the record with pride and notes the magnanimous way Morgan congratulated him on the achievement.
..................................................................................
Editor’s note:
Mike Morgan accrued his victims over 222 games, Hamish over 201.
Assuming both kept wicket for all their matches – which is not quite true – Morgan captured 0.81 victims per match; McDougall 0.90.
But then how many wickets has McDougall taken with loopy leg-breaks?
...................................................................................
Afterwards McDougall posed for a commemorative photo, down on his haunches. The camera did not capture the ten minutes of effort and much grunting it took to get himself back into an upright position, having kept for over 110 overs on the long weekend.
Back at the bowling crease, Jono Addis did a Brett Lee impersonation by hurling down several beamers. Thankfully, the umpires did not bar him and the Sutton batsmen dispatched most of the offending balls to the boundary.
The occasional one Addis landed on the pitch was threatening, but it was Hodgson (3-29), Perrin (1-10) and Agent B Taylor (1-19) who did the damage in the middle overs with some tight bowling. Agent B’s figures would have been worse were it not for some excellent fielding by Perrin at square leg.
Glen Oliver (3-8) mopped up the tail with some surgery-defying-left-arm-medium-pace-swing-bowling disguised-as-off-spin. His two lbws came belatedly, after removing himself from the umpire’s line of sight to the batsman and stumps.
So 144 was a gettable target, even more so when Addis and Pittams made an assured, fluid start against a good quality opening attack. Cuts, drives and glances all featured, with Addis evoking the late Martin Crowe with a swivel pull off a ball on a fullish length.
Jono was eventually out stumped for 67. This left Agent B Taylor, buoyed by Notts County’s 5-1 win against Chorley, to finish the game off with two pulls to the legside fence. Pittams got his kicks with 66.
The comfortable victory meant all seven tour matches for 2019 were won, another all-time Strollers record – see https://fsscc.org.uk/newspaper.php?sec=7_CLUB RECORDS&src=1_Tours de force for full details.
Afterwards as the warm sun went down, the team and supporters supped celebratory beer and strong orange squash, while Wood’s perked-up and much-admired Pickle rampaged around the garden of The Holly Bush in Church Broughton. They mused on the records broken and one of the all-time great Three Counties Tours. It was indeed a Magic Monday.
Capt: Alastair Macaulay. Wkt and match report: Hamish McDougall.
Ripley
Sunday September 1 in Ripley
Strollers lost by 26 runs
Ripley 245-9
(40 overs; Simon Brodbeck 2-17, Colbeck 2-38, Sam Brodbeck 1-13, Kelsey 1-33, Stubbs 1-39, Macaulay 1-41, Love 1-49)
Strollers 219-9
(40 overs; Loan 95, Colbeck 33. Fredrickson 24, Love 14, Macaulay 13no)
A French field market on the adjoining park welcomed the Strollers to this game in Ripley. A few croissants later (at a discount for those speaking French) and the Strollers were ready to hit the field, with captain Tom Colbeck winning the toss and electing to bowl. Richie Stubbs made his first weekend appearance of the summer, having spent the season ferrying his children - the highly promising cricketing duo of James and Charlotte - around the cricket grounds of south-east England.
Ripley mixed things up and opened with one of their lower-order batsmen. The Strollers could not capitalise though, as the wides count took the lead in the early overs. The Ripley openers took the initiative and raced to 79 before their partnership was broken in the 12th over. The Strollers eventually found their line, and wickets fell gradually, but they could not rein in Ripley, who reached 245-9 after their 40 overs. Simon Brodbeck and Colbeck took two wickets each, with Sam Brodbeck finishing on a tidy 1-13 from his four overs.
By the interval there was a large contingent of supporters, including Tony and Chrissie Colbeck, Simon West and chairman Kimball Bailey. Mike Morgan was also in attendance - to preside over the official handing of the Strollers’ wicket-keeping record to Hamish McDougall, who secured his 180th victim over the bank holiday weekend.
Morgan (the previous holder of the record with 179 victims between 2003 and 2016) handed over a symbolic bottle of New Zealand wine with a smile. See:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157708096421579&set=gm.10157400573959648&type=3&theater&ifg=1
Ivor Fiala also appeared out of the Weybridge mist to deliver a vital piece of papyrus – his match report for the Wall game. Eschewing all modern forms of electronic communication, Ivor prefers the hand-delivered method.
Whilst the Ripley bowlers found their line early, runs were available on a quick outfield and 245 was very gettable for the Strollers batters if they retained their wickets. Unfortunately a couple of stumpings and a run-out created pressure. Opener Mike Loan led the charge (eventually caught on 95) with support from Justin Fredrickson (24) and Colbeck (33), but it was not enough as the Strollers concluded their chase on 219-9 after their 40 overs. A solid unbeaten partnership of 25 from Alastair Macaulay and Simon Brodbeck finishing proceedings.
The Strollers enjoyed a drink outside the pavilion, with the cold air marking the start of autumn. George Love signed off for the season having played nine games in his debut year – just one tantalisingly short of an official cap. He is now off on a scouting mission through Eastern Europe and the Hellenic Islands in search of prospective Strollers.
C apt: Tom Colbeck. Wkt: Hamish McDougall.
Match fees: David Kelsey. Match report: Mike Loan.
The Lee
Sunday September 8 at The Lee
Strollers lost by 54 runs
The Lee 201
(34.4 overs; Harvey 2-24, Newton 2-35, Hodgson 2-36, Macaulay 2-39, Colbeck 1-10, Salvesen 1-36)
Strollers 147
(31.3 overs; Salvesen 62, Pittams 23, Hodgson 15, Macaulay 15, Peter Wood 11)
‘It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.’
We all think that Dickens wrote those seminal words to introduce his equally seminal work, The Tale of Two Cities. We tend to think he was drawing a comparison between London and Paris before the French Revolution. We are wrong about that. We know Dickens loved Fleet Street and in his infinite wisdom knew that one day the only cricket team of note to spring from the Street of Ink would one day have one of their best bowling displays of the 2019 season, and one of their worst batting displays from this writer’s six years’ experience with the Red Capped Men of Fleet.
It was a pleasant day at The Lee’s ground - the wicket looked green but firm enough, the outfield was cut short although the boundary was incredibly short on the right-hander’s leg side. The opposition looked keen (and young) and, as we all suspected, the afternoon tea was to be outstanding again if the kitchen preparations were anything to go by. So, very much the best of times as we got onto business.
The Best of Times
We lost the toss and were sent into the field on a rather green looking wicket, so no real harm there. Ten wickets were to be taken for 100+ less than The Lee scored last year in their herculean run chase, and I’ll do my best to paint the picture.
I played in last week’s game at Ripley and we shipped some 42 extras (to then lose by 26 runs). This week there was none of that. With the best view in the house behind the wicket I was very impressed by the line and length bowled by everyone. If there was a wide here or there, it was usually followed up by something a lot tidier. Therefore, while the opposition did try to make use of the short boundary, they usually had to play a decent shot to get it there.
The first wicket, Mike Harris, fell when Tom Colbeck collected what was to be the first of his four catches. A very sharp catch at first slip took care of the opening batter for just 10 from some good Tom Salvesen length bowling.
An even better catch followed when that man Tom again took a screamer at first slip to dismiss the other opener, Alex Morgan, diving low to his right and catching it with one and half hands behind his body only just above the grass. This will probably be my lasting memory of this game which, at this stage was even stevens as we had kept them at a reasonable run rate. So off went Morgan for 42, who had been starting to shift through the gears.
The wickets came in regular intervals after this. Keeper Justin Fredrickson (i.e. me) caught a high one to help dismiss Julian Swain (who scored a hundred last season), Tom took another “straightforward screamer” off his own bowling, reaching low to his right from a well-hit drive from Robert Walsh. Another sharp catch was taken by, you guessed it, Tom at first slip from Alastair Macaulay’s bowling to dismiss Ben Harris.
You may think I’m making all of this sharp fielding up, but more was to follow, Captain Courageous - Mike Pittams - took a very tough catch off Ed Boakes, who hit the ball practically horizontally to him on the short boundary with the ball almost dipping and swerving at the last moment just to make it more difficult. This was Leon Harvey’s first wicket for the club, and he bowled very well on his debut. So well that he followed it up with a delightful off-cutter to send back their very handy looking No 6, Sam Harris, for one more than his place in the order.
We were very much on top at this stage but some big hitting from their No 8, Harry Hutt, who was to play a starring role in the second chapter of this story, took their total to just over 200. Messrs Macaulay and Jim Hodgson finished off the tail with a straight one and relatively straightforward caught and bowled respectively. Only 10 extras were shipped by the Strollers which, in comparison to the 42 of last week, was something of a miracle. So, advantage Strollers going into the tea break.
The pick of the bowlers was a hard choice - I will give it to Tom Colbeck who, while he took just one wicket in comparison to the two from Messrs Hodgson, Newton, Macaulay and Harvey, had an economy rate of two an over. On this ground with its very short boundary that was exceptional.
Special mention must go to Captain Pittams. On his leadership debut he adapted the field well, knew when to defend and attack, rotated the bowlers shrewdly, showed good energy in the field, and even offered some keeping advice which the keeper-writer took up in the next order and which seemed to take immediate effect. The only surprise was that he did not bowl himself with his customary zeal, although this was probably due to the fact his bowlers did the job to save him the effort.
Which brings me to the other special mention and that man again, Tom Colbeck. He equalled the record for the number of outfield catches in an innings. His only downfall was not demanding the high one I was under as keeper to have a shot at posting a new record, although he should be forgiven for electing to let the keeper deal with that. Because we are Strollers and are a very organised bunch, I can list the full list of those who have snaffled four in an innings:
· John McShane v Old Guildfordians 2/7/78
· Gordon Emberton v Old Dominions 2/7/88
· Danny John v Farnham Royal 24/7/88
· Khumar Ghosh v Thames TV 21/7/90
· Mark Fenn v Seal St Lawrence 24/7/94
· James Timperley v North Maidenhead 29/7/07
· Warren Crocker v Jordans Taverners 9/5/09
· Warren Crocker v Wall 28/5/10
· Tom Colbeck v The Lee 8/9/19
The Worst of Times
The Lee’s opening spearhead, Harry Hutt, was definitely the best bowler on the day. His very elegant seam bowling seemed to be enjoyed by the pitch more than our batting line-up. Picture Pat Cummings meets Stuart Broad (but perhaps 20kms slower in fairness) bowling to a wandering social side on a Sunday afternoon. Needless to say, he got the better of three of our top five, who scored a total of four between them, the other two being Captain Pittams - who dug out a gutsy 23 - and Peter Wood, who could not come close to his big hitting heroics of last year when he was caught on 11. With Colbeck achieving four less runs than his four catches and Harvey achieving two less runs than his two wickets, the Strollers were not so much fearing a loss bas facing embarrassment, given we were just 50-7.
The Bettering of Times
Just like Dickens, there was to be a twist to this tale of toil. Out of nowhere came a rearguard counter-attack in the form of Salvesen, his bat, and his party time strokes being totally at odds with the milieu they all entered into. A fine 62 was achieved with 10 fours, ably supported by 15 each from Messrs Hodgson and Macaulay, the latter continuing his fine form of last week.
The writer had the best view in the house, having chosen to umpire for more than his fair share to make some contribution to the Strollers innings. He noted that as Strollers swung their bats to connect with leather rather than thin air, the more some faint hope was conjured up.
There were at least a couple of overs with Hodgson and Salvesen in full swing where the impossible was starting to be appear potentially (at the most in fairness) possible. Alas, furthering the Dickensian take on events, our hero tragically had his life cut short, being run out with Simon standing tall on two not out at the other end, wondering what all the fuss was about - if his obvious comfort at the crease was anything to go by.
So, a not too bad an end to the Strollers innings – despite losing by 54 runs - had us all feeling a bit better about life and, to take all the positives out of the game, happy that the bowlers did their job very well. The consensus was that our top order was simply undone by an exceptional spell of bowling from Harry Hutt (backed up nicely by most of his bowlers I should add).
Needless to say, the tea was excellent and the opposition were friendly on and off the field and the Strollers hope to be back next year to give the scoreboard a bit more of a work-out.
Capt: Mike Pittams. Wkt and match report: Justin Fredrickson.
Match fees: Peter Wood.
Braywood
Saturday September 14 at Pinkneys Green
Strollers won by 65 runs
Strollers 255-4
(40 overs; Oliver 79no, Pittams 54, Addis 34no, Mike Daly 28, Danny John 24)
Braywood 190
(36.3 overs; Travis 3-22, Colbeck 3-35, Danny John 1-14, Sam John 1-14, Oliver 1-26)
With a beautiful sunrise and a wonderful morning, the Strollers were excited to have a short trip for a home match against Braywood.
The journey included an optimistic listen to Test Match Special, with England looking to draw the series and still lose the Ashes, a concept the Kiwis in the team were all too familiar with. Michael Pittams recklessly decided to inform us that the highest opening Test partnership of the summer was 32 from Ireland’s William Porterfield and James McCollum, and that anything less from the Strollers today would be something of a disappointment.
The Strollers arrived at Pinkneys Green in good spirits, regardless of being a few short. Skipper Glen Oliver approached the opposing captain, GK, and much to his surprise Oliver asked him whether he would like to bat or bowl. To the disappointment of the team, GK forced Glen to toss. A faint “I think we’ll…” heard from the boundary had the Strollers in shock, as it was muttered from Oliver’s mouth. Without too much commotion, the Strollers prepared to have a bat.
Oliver checked last year’s match report, only to see that Mike Daly had written the match report against Braywood, and decided to throw a spanner in the works and create a Daly of the Match Report competition. Pittams, clearly bemused by the parody of his hard work, replied, “That’s just not cricket”. So let it begin.
The late arrival of Jono Addis and Aidan Selby had the skipper tearing up his batting line-up, kicking the equipment in the locker room, deciding whether to send a “Crisis” email before finally turning to last year’s match report to see that Nick Daly had scored 50 not out in the same fixture last year.
He decided that Pittams and Daly were his best options to open, and after what must have been a communication error from the captain, MD and Pittams wandered out to the middle. Oliver had briefed the openers that he was looking for 300, and that it was easily attainable.
Pittams began with a bang. With his scoring shots starting with six fours and two singles, it was clear he had taken his skipper seriously. MD decided to anchor the other end and turn over the strike and run-rate. ND, umpiring at one end, had the opportunity of a lifetime to alter the fate of ‘Daly of the Day’, with a ball cutting inside MD and a clear noise as it passed the bat. To his disappointment the ball had clearly hit his thigh, and despite a loud appeal, it was not out.
Out of the shadow of the trees, a figure appeared...surely a mirage. It took a few glances to confirm, but we were witnessing the arrival of Strollers legend Danny John. Danny commenced his Strollers career at the ripe age of 16 in 1978, and played 20 seasons to 1998. He was the top run-scorer for four seasons in a row, from 1981 to 1984, and top wicket-taker in 1983. He had scored 5,456 runs and took 331 wickets before his emigration to Australia. He still remains fourth in the all-time run-scorers’ list, and fifth in the wicket-takers’ standings.
To commemorate the outstanding all-rounder that Danny is, and was, we were treated to an appearance by chairman Kimball Bailey, who wore a beautiful pair of cufflinks, with a cricket ball on one side, and bat on the other.
It was clear to most that DJ had succumbed to the pressure of the “Crisis! Crisis!” emails, and decided to make the trip for the match. The crisis was so bad that he brought his son and prodigy Sam to make his Strollers debut as well. They came under their own steam - even Addis and Selby didn’t live close enough to give them a lift from Sydney - and Simon Brodbeck’s car was full from Golders Green.
Some tight bowling from the opening and first and second-change bowlers provided a challenge for the opening pair, but some excellently timed shots saw Pittams gloriously raise his bat for his 50. He appeared to have his bat raised before the applause, but this can only be a testament to his ability to count his own runs.
MD continued his comfort at the crease and kept the scoreboard ticking over nicely. Addis was seen to be weak at the knees from his position at square-leg umpire, and it became apparent that the beautiful bit of ankle and leg that MD’s ankle socks and trousers caught in his pads revealed - which belonged better in a burlesque show - had got the better of Addis, He was forced from his umpiring duties due an attack of the vapours. Brodbeck decided it was time to draft up the “Dress Code” to present at the upcoming AGM on November 8th.
With 92 runs, the opening partnership had both surpassed Pittams’ expectation of the highest opening partnership of the summer, and Oliver’s expectation of being on track for 300 runs.
MD was the first to fall for a well-earned 28, with a good ball seeing the edge of the bat, and being collected comfortably behind the wicket. MD walked without seeing Selby’s ominous finger. Tom Colbeck, who had been dragged, rather than raised, up the order with the promise that it would not affect his responsibilities as a bowler, walked in at No 3.
Colbeck, who had been cruising at the top of the season’s bowling ranks, had suffered a major setback at the start of the day. Brodbeck had informed him that the calculations of top bowler had possibly been miscounted, and a recount from Alastair Macaulay totalled Colbeck on 23 wickets, on a par with Mr Macaulay himself, and Jim Hodgson leading the pack with 27. Colbeck let his frustration out by declaring himself available for all remaining fixtures in an attempt to keep Hodgson out of the squad.
Pittams, five balls later, clearly missing his opening partner, decided he needed to find companionship in another. After playing and missing, he decided to wander down the wicket in an attempt to befriend one of the many dogs on the boundary. He quickly remembered where he was, and turned, emulating Jabba the Hutt. Stumped for 54: 92-2.
Step up Captain, Leader, Oliver. Beaming from his side’s rapid start, and the progress made towards the illustrious 300, the run-rate flying high, MD and Pittams were bemused to see the next six overs go 1, 1, 1, 2, 4, 2. Having been praised by Oliver for his McCullumesque style of batting, Colbeck clearly had been thinking about Hodgson and the five wickets he needed to claim top spot. A few shots, a few misses, a few more appeals, and even more signals from MD that the ball was heading down leg later, MD raised a finger for lbw, to which Colbeck had turned his back on already. Disbelief (from the bowling side). Colbeck later stated to the press: “I think the appeals got to him, mine’s a Fosters. Top.”
With Colbeck gone for one, at 97-3, up stepped the legend himself. Danny John wandered up to the crease full of hope and determination in his second match since his departure in 1998 (the first being another short return in 2008) and the 331st of his illustrious Strollers career. Now a regular in his veterans’ side at Mosman Cricket Club on Sydney’s North Shore (where Allan Border and Brett Lee played their cricket) he stepped up with a Strollers career average of 23.53.
It was clear to see that DJ was no stranger to Strollers cricket. He eased himself in at the crease and kicked off proceedings with a boundary. The elegance, the grace and the composure he showed at the crease made it clear to see why he was so well respected by his team-mates, and admired by the Strollers ladies of the Eighties and Nineties. Quick singles were being called (he clearly hadn’t been introduced to Oliver’s little black book), boundaries were being struck and Sam John had even put down the Chelsea FC updates to admire his father’s class at the crease. A solid 24 saw him raise his average. A beautiful 61-run partnership brought the Strollers to 158-4.
Next up, Selby. Mr Reliable. Oliver had played himself in and Selby was looking to see off the first few balls. What happened next was nothing short of a disaster. It wasn’t the famous Strollers collapse, the threat of drinks not being ready on time, or even Pittams sending suspect images around the Whatsapp community…it was what can only be described as Trouble in Paradise.
The confusion set in early on, Oliver running hard, being sent back by Selby, “Yes, no, maybe!?”, Selby anticipating the calls only to be sent back from halfway down the wicket. Chance after chance came for the Braywood hopefuls as the batsmen tried to run each other out, and tensions were rising as one began to hate the thought of the fight for top bunk when they depart for their holiday together on Saturday.
With pressure mounting and Selby becoming visibly disgruntled, he very uncharacteristically lapsed in thought and nudged one back to the bowler. Selby departed for two, in a partnership of 29, which I’m sure will not be mentioned as they pass each other in the bathroom in Turkey.
With the run rate at 5.5, and a projected total of 220, up stepped Addis. With less than six overs to make an impact, he did not fail.
Addis decided to take the battle to the bowlers, who had been impressive and continued to bowl good lines, but Addis was seeing the ball well and started proceedings with a boundary. Addis saw himself in and began to pepper the field with shots being played all around the park.
Addis took on the dangerous Shahbaz Khan, who has previously taken the danger men John and Selby, and dispatched him for 21 in a single over, including two sixes. Despite Addis’s electrifying 34 not out, enough cannot be spoken of the skipper, Glen Oliver. He beautifully saw the innings through and provided what can only be described as a master class. Perfectly timing shots, he led from the front and his 79 not out was instrumental in the Strollers posting 255. Braywood finished with five wickets.
We convened for tea, and my word it was good. A big thanks to Kay for all her efforts, it was truly delicious. A special mention also for Cathy Snapes, who provided tea for the Strollers for many years and made a very welcome appearance.
By this stage we were also treated to an appearance from Ivor Fiala, who was prepared to enlighten the more recent Strollers of the ‘glory days’. We gathered to listen to tales of the ’91 match played at Pinkneys Green (nobody could believe they had played here that long ago), where Bailey, Brodbeck, Fiala and John had all been prominent figures. We also learned of Fiala’s glorious years as club captain. The responsibility of organising fixtures, teams and grounds may have proven too much for him. ‘Fiala for Club Captain 2020’ is to be discussed at the AGM, provided MD doesn’t wear ankle socks.
As we walked out, Pittams with gloves in hand, Oliver set his field. First slip, could only be Selby. A later comment saw Oliver ask Addis to field in his spot and do what he was doing. “Not a lot then,” replied Selby, to which the team found amusing in the form of ‘pot-kettle-black’ from the man who was reluctant to field a ball when he was the closest man to it.
MD was asked to field short cover after the skipper explained it was a competition for who had the biggest balls between MD and a few others. It was clear that if MD had the hands of John Low, he wouldn’t have a problem catching a little closer.
Up stepped 20-year-old Sam John - opening bowler and looking dangerous judging the few balls he sent down in the nets during the tea break. SJ bowled well on a tight line and length and when he claimed to have not played for three years, the skipper asked DJ politely to leave him behind when he returned to Straya. DJ replied with something like: “Crikey mate! No Wucka’s! Pack the thongs, fire up the Barbie and dust off the goon!”
Points were being awarded in the field for the coveted Daly of the Day prize, with many points being added and subtracted for various fielding displays. ND was disgusted when MD fielded one at gully that was merely played hard into his gut, only to be awarded a point - “He would have moved out the way if he had time!”
SJ’s hard work was rewarded with his first Strollers wicket, forcing the batsman to play at a ball that was doing plenty. The ball was nicked to Selby in the slips and suddenly SJ had taken more Strollers wickets in his lifetime than his father had in the same period. Sam finished with a tidy analysis of 5-0-14-1.
At the other end, ND spent a few overs wearing the batsmen down with his medium-pace attack, while MD wore them down with his chat. Up stepped spin-demon Blair Travis. Travis introduced a new dynamic to the attack, and within his first over had his wicket, with a high edge after a beautifully pitched ball was skied to fine leg where no other than SJ on debut was waiting. With comfort he swallowed it, and he had his first Strollers catch. DJ, visibly proud, was the first to congratulate him.
Travis continued to cause significant issues for the batsmen, the finest of which came from a ball that ripped between bat and pad - “the off-spinner’s dream” - and crashed into the stumps. The batsman, who assumed Pittams had attempted to stump him, was in disbelief. Travis had hit the stumps with such venom he managed to snap one of the bails. The following over Travis had his third victim, as the batsman attempted to thump the ball over cow corner only for it to be swallowed by Addis in the deep. Addis who decided he wanted to field on the boundary, was constantly asked by his skipper to field further up – “I’m walking in!” Travis finished with 3-22.
SJ was replaced by no other than his father. Not wanting to be shown up by this newcomer, he decided he needed to show his son ‘how we used to do it’. He got under way and, similar to his son, displayed a consistent line and length that the batsmen couldn’t handle. Five beautiful balls in his first over were followed by a slow full toss that was sent straight down the throat of his skipper at mid-off. “That’s how it’s done!” DJ said to his son.
The deliveries continued to stay sharp. MD was asked to move back to the edge of ‘saving one’. “Who’s running this one? Pittams or Selby?” DJ fittingly finished his spell with an analysis identical to his son’s: 5-0-14-1.
Colbeck was up next at the other end. You could see his anxiety at watching these wickets fall had him chew clean through the boundary rope at deep square leg. He stepped up and in his first over had a full toss hit straight to the man at square leg. With confidence the man took a step left, a step right, decided he was too close to let the ball go without touching it, and put his hands up to collect it safely. It hit the deck.
It was odd that nobody in the clubhouse afterwards was able to remember who it was that dropped the catch. But no matter; Colbeck took the adage of ‘if you want a job done well, do it yourself’ and ripped through the stumps with a beautiful ball. One down, four to go. He was clearly in fine form, and two overs later had his second. Again, bowled.
By this stage Hodgson had heard the news, and was in his car on the way to Pinkneys Green. He too had decided to sign up to the remaining fixtures. By this stage, Pittams clearly disgruntled, had attempted around 20 stumpings, none of which were given the nod.
However, it was time. Colbeck ripped one past the batsman, and Pittams had it. Stumped. Hodgson was seriously worried, and after Oliver took an odd phone call in the field, Colbeck was asked to finish his spell there. With figures of 3-35, the standings were now Hodgson 27, Colbeck 26, Macaulay 23. It will be a fiery battle at Concorde next week.
Oliver did his best to unsettle the batsmen by trying to flatten the opposition skipper. Clearly unhappy that he was asked to risk his prolific record with the coin, he picked up the ball at mid-wicket and launched it at the skipper’s head. He was full of concerned apologies. “It was hitting the stumps!” he claimed. Realistically, he was lucky the batsman’s head stopped four over-throws. Fortunately skipper Guarav Kyle was unhurt and bravely carried on.
Brodbeck was the next to bowl, and clearly feeling the motivation of the Strollers ‘old young boys’ XI in mind, bowled a beautiful length that had the batsmen unable to play shots. We all celebrated when Brodbeck had an early wicket, collected at mid-off, only for us to be left in confusion as the batsman was asked to return to the crease and we saw a bail had been knocked off in the delivery stride. No-ball. Devastation! The skipper then decided to try his own bowling.
A beautiful maiden from the captain was followed by more pacey line and length off his half-step run-up. A ball played to point was collected quickly by Addis. “Easy, easy!” called Oliver at the non-striker’s end. With the batsman out of his crease, Addis thought better than to listen to his captain, and threw the stumps down with a rocket: Run out. Elation preceded a few laughs at Oliver’s initial cries, which he unsuccessfully tried to deny.
The batsmen struggled to hit the skipper, until the new batsman launched one beautifully over ND and Travis at mid-wicket and mid-off, and the ball raced towards the long boundary.
With ND in pursuit of a certain boundary and Travis deciding it was a lost cause, ND somehow managed to run the 300 metres to do enough to flick the ball in and throw back to the skipper. With enough time to run 17, let alone three, it appeared they ran none, and it eventuated in one of the greatest dot-balls in Strollers history. Don’t worry batsman, I wouldn’t risk it on that arm either. Pick your fielders.
With the innings coming to a close, and Braywood needing over 10 per over, it was only fitting for the skipper, who had batted so beautifully, to take the last wicket, clean bowled. Oliver finished with 1-26. Braywood were all out for 190 and the Strollers walked away victorious.
We shook hands and retired for showers in the dark and a refreshing Rebellion IPA. Pittams decided he was unable to bring himself to order Addis the shandy he had asked for, while the Strollers legend from Down Under decided a Fosters was only fitting.
First on the discussion list was Pittams’ dismissal. “What were you thinking?” enquired Brodbeck. “I remember you being more positive, Simon,” replied a shaken Pittams.
Shock hit the social circle when MD returned from the changing rooms wearing not only ankle socks, but also salmon coloured shorts, with the Dalys being described as Ying and Yang alongside ND’s conservative black jeans.
We were very happy with the cricket on the television as well, as we witnessed England replicate the display seen at Pinkneys Green. With the sun setting on a beautiful day we learned that DJ, whose Mum Patsy once ruled the news desk of the Evening News – where the club first began in 1976 – was delighted to have his day back in Strollers colours. A good day, good company and a good win.
Daly of the Day: Jono Addis.
Capt: Glen Oliver. Wkt: Mike Pittams.
Match fees: Mike Daly. Match report: Nick Daly.
Concorde
Sunday September 22 in Send
Match drawn
Strollers 182-9 dec
(40 overs; Pittams 46, Travis 33, Peter Wood 26, Williams 23, Harvey 11)
Concorde 169-9
(40 overs; Peter Wood 5-30, Harvey 1-19, Travis 1-22, Colbeck 1-29, Hodgson 1-44)
"Today’s game is STILL ON..."
Simon’s optimistic text flew in the face of all weather forecasts and apps you could care to consult. Heavy rain all afternoon was their message, and that was being delivered as most of us arrived at Sendholme cricket ground, home of Concorde Cricket Club. Simon and his carload of Strollers was a notable absence, held up by a road closure on the A40 and the knock-on chaos. One benefit of the rain was being able to watch the England v Tonga World Cup match - a stuttering affair, and one that brought a worried look to Tom Colbeck’s face. Rugby was not his concern, but the conspicuous absence of his Land Rover ad was. At £250K a slot for this game, it could have been a costly mistake by someone.
Simon arrived and the rain stopped. Do his powers know no bounds? After a brief hiatus to allow the ground to dry a little, skipper Mike Pittams lost the toss and we were asked to bat first in one of our rare time games. Justin Fredrickson fell early, caught behind toff the rapid Simon Duke. Lachy Williams and Peter Wood then put on 59 for the second wicket, with Lachy playing some lovely cover drives. Williams was then caught for 23, ushering in skipper Pittams.
He and Peter looked in good nick against some decent bowling and ran hard, challenging the young guns in the field, until Wood was caught for 26 off Adam Carter. Blair Travis joined Pittams and they put on 52 for the fourth wicket. The wet outfield and decent bowling and fielding made runs hard to come by, but many scurried singles kept the score ticking over. The old scorebox was kept ticking over too, once we had got to grips with the numbered loop system and the small door for wickets down. Ivor Fiala discovered a Crazy Catch and amused himself for quite some time, no doubt honing his skills for the two catches required to notch up 100 for the club.
Pittams was caught for a good 46. Finlay Perrin hit a nice on-drive for four, then was well yorked by the skipper, Nikhil Kadyan. Leon Harvey arrived at the wicket and saw Blair fall for 33 to the returning Duke. Colbeck tried to push the score on quickly as we approached the declaration zone, but perished for six. Jim Hodgson joined Leon in time to admire a huge six over long-on, over the drive to the big house and into the next field. Sadly, Harvey did not last much longer, falling to an excellent catch by Jordyn Dyer, Concorde’s very own Kiwi, diving full length in the outfield. Simon Brodbeck was caught behind off Carter and Ivor was cruelly denied another not out opportunity as Mike drew a line under our innings at 182-9.
A pleasant tea was taken - the self-assembly scones the highlight, but is it jam then cream or cream then jam? Unless you’re Cornish or Devonian it doesn’t really matter as they taste delicious either way.
Simon mentioned the two leading wicket-takers for the season were both playing, with one wicket separating them (Hodgson 27, Colbeck 26). Mike, being the equitable chap that he is, decided it would be only fair to have them both open.
Tom quickly took advantage of this, having Dyer taken at a deepish mid-on - a well judged low catch by Harvey. A look in the opposition’s scorebook showed this to be a very good wicket to take as Dyer had scored a lot of runs in the season. I suspect this might have been the first time he had faced an opening attack of very tall leg-spin and very slow trundle.
Josh Griffiths and Chris Turville steadied the ship with a 59-run partnership until a smart stumping by Fredrickson off Harvey sent Griffiths back to the pavilion. The adage of ‘one brings two’ rang true as Brandon Lesser was out for nought, caught Wood bowled Travis. It was nice to see our other very tall spinner in action after several matches playing as a specialist batsman. It was also nice to see him being awarded his baggy burgundy and wipe clean tie today.
Turvill and Carter took the total to 119 with both looking comfortable and our total vulnerable. Wickets were required. The skipper threw the ball to Wood and was instantly rewarded - Carter bowled for 22. Nick Freeman did not last long as a returning Hodgson got some extra bounce and the nick was taken by Fredrickson.
With Turvill still at the crease the odds were in favour of Concorde. He passed 50 and with the support of his captain, Kadyan, the total passed 150. Cue another timely intervention from Wood, removing Turvill for an excellent 63, via the edge and Justin’s safe gloves. This was the critical wicket.
With Hodgson keeping a tight grip on things at the other end and Wood continuing his fine spell, the tail was finding it difficult to wag. Peter trapped Kadyan lbw for 11. In the final few overs the question was ‘could Concorde hang on for the draw’? Not if Wood could help it.
He bowled Duke for five, then in the final nail-biting over the No 10, Dave Joseph, edged to the slips and saw old bucket hands Colbeck take another very fine catch, low to his right. Nine down and three balls remaining.
An lbw appeal off the next ball did not interest the umpire, and the experienced Ian Cudworth kept the final two balls out to secure the draw. Like our own Ivor, he makes a habit of collecting not outs. Wood finished a really excellent spell with figures of 5-30 off 10 overs.
Thank you to our supporters: Jo “I’m going to walk round the boundary all afternoon to try and loosen my back” Perrin, Tony “I might just have a look at the tea table” Colbeck accompanied by Mrs Chrissie Colbeck, and Tom “No, I’m really sure I don’t want to play cricket again” Wood, with young Pickle.
Capt: Mike Pittams. Wkt: Justin Fredrickson.
Match fees: Finlay Perrin. Match report: Jim Hodgson/Finlay Perrin.
Pinkneys Green
Sunday September 29 at Pinkneys Green
Match cancelled
The first year of the PTE (that’s the Post-Timperley* Era to you) did not start auspiciously.
The Strollers’ first domestic game – following the now traditional Strollers Exiles v Bottom Paddock clash at Masterton in February – was on the calendar for Sunday April 21. Unfortunately it also happened to be Easter Sunday. Only four brave souls offered their services. As the opposition were similarly afflicted, we agreed to cancel.
Things immediately began to get better. Ryan Duff reappeared on the field at Marlow Park for his first appearance on a cricket field since August 2017 and that snapped achilles tendon at Stanton by Dale - 20 months in which he passed the time by becoming a father and spending seemingly months away in New Zealand.
In fact, injuries were one of the continuing stories of 2019. Lachlan Williams’ knees proved to be very dodgy limbs. After declaring that “they’re sort of OK, but might give way at any time”, he played as a batsman against Concorde in September and thoroughly looked the part. But then afterwards announced that he and Ashley will be going back to Australia in March.
Tom Colbeck began like an express train, taking wickets for fun and setting his sights on an annus mirabilis. But then the A&E curse struck – appendicitis, an operation, and weeks away from the side.
Talking of knees, Jim Hodgson’s two seemed to be in a permanent state of decomposition, only held together, it seemed, by quantities of gaffer tape and grim determination. That did not prevent Hodgson being the standout bowler of the year – dropping on a metronomic length, doing a bit off the seam and finding occasional bounce. Such was his rich form that he ended the campaign at the head of the wicket-takers' table.
Injuries run in the family, it seems, for Finlay Perrin – who these days carries a heavy burden as the Strollers youth policy – had a bad hamstring pull which kept him out for many weeks despite an abortive comeback bid when he had to limp off the field at Peppard. In a gesture of solidarity, Jo then hurt her back...doing the hoovering. That may be a hint, Jim.
Glen Oliver fell in a heap at Tadworth and limped through the rest of the season. Not that it seemed to affect his punishing batting. And a magic jab to the shoulder enabled him to bowl again – his four-pace thunderbolts proving very handy.
Even Duff, the returning hero, encountered more problems. He reported for duty on the Three Counties Tour with a damaged shoulder. “I lay down on the floor alongside baby Astrid – and fell asleep,” he said. “Something’s wrong – I can’t bowl. Sorry lads.” It did not, fortunately, prevent him fielding in his usual demonic manner against Wall and Stanton by Dale.
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So the domestic programme belatedly began on April 28 on the banks of the Thames at Marlow. Match reporter Laurie Allsopp wrote:
“Marlow Park were dismissed for 58 - some way from being the smallest total against the Strollers, but a fine piece of work nonetheless. “The season can only go downhill from here,” said Aidan Selby. [Obviously a glass half-empty man].
Did things go downhill? Not a bit of it.
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Dal Crocker dropped in at Bray to say hello and bring greetings from Warren and Theresa.
Simon Brodbeck was spotted umpiring at Arkley in a baseball cap (“But it’s a National Trust one,” he meekly protested) and was suitably disciplined.
There was a thrilling draw at Warfield, the Strollers restricting the home side to five runs short of victory.
We were the guests at a festival of Victoria sponges (in aid of the Marie Curie Cancer Foundation) in the annual battle for the John Marshall Cup at West Chiltington. A match-winning 95 from Mike Loan - he made a habit of getting out in the nineties - put the icing on the cakes.
On a gloriously sunny weekend in the Cotswolds Pittams posted the fourth-highest score for the club – 174no – against Kempsford and repeatedly hit soaring sixes and then chased them into the adjoining field to retrieve the ball. His 11 howitzer maximums placed him level with Peter Wood’s feats at The Lee in 2018.
The following day at Cricklade Glen Oliver (148no) and Sam Brodbeck (75no) put on a unbroken stand of 224 in the sweltering heat to post the second-highest third-wicket partnership of all time.
On the Brittany tour Justin Fredrickson led the invasion of France and, with 57no v Nantes and a stunning 108no v Des Ormes, singlehandedly reversed the Norman Conquest.
Match reporter Rob Wall wrote:
The highlight was the extended celebration of the ton from Fredrickson, whose helmet got stuck on his head. Well after the applause had stopped from both teams, he raised both hands and helmet to the sky to acknowledge his first century in any cricket. This capped off an excellent weekend for Justin who, with 165 runs without being dismissed and useful contributions with ball and keeping gloves, proved his all-round abilities. Rumour has it Simon has already put a call into his friends at NZ immigration to try and extend Fredrickson's stay for another season.
Fredrickson’s heroics deflected Press interest from Aidan Selby’s sensational “Over of the Century” – 10 balls and a return of 3-5.
Brian (I’m a bowler now, you know”) Taylor memorably captured the moment:
Step forward Aidan Selby, well respected by his peers, to bowl possibly the first ten-ball over in Strollers history, and to give a foretaste of what will happen when the “100” is introduced next year, with its ten-ball segments. An over of infinite variety followed: no ball, wide, wicket, one, no ball, wide, dot, wicket, dot, wicket: 1-0-5-3. Mere words undervalue the enormity of Aidan’s achievement; suffice to say that the direction of the game was irredeemably altered by this one over.
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The high spot of what was mostly a shimmering summer was the Three Counties Tour – three days of golden heat; three victories; a new and very pleasant touring base discovered in Branston (Tom Wood’s Pickle was delighted to be back home); and a mouthwatering Saturday night gastronomic experience from Pascal.
At Wall on the Saturday the field was turning brown and the magnificent tea failed to weigh down the eager Strollers. High spot here was a Pittams thunderbolt throw from the distant boundary to effect a dramatic run-out.
On Sunday Ben Stokes engineered England’s astonishing victory at Headingley, while the Strollers – equally admirably but with less publicity – were turning in an efficient effort at Stanton by Dale to wrest back the David Tranter Trophy. The travelling crèche was much in evidence with Frankie, Rhys, Astrid, Christopher and Bethany keeping everyone entertained.
On the bank holiday Monday at Sutton on the Hill the sun beat down again. The air was still and the wicket shone like glass. On another idyllic day Hamish McDougall claimed the Strollers wicketkeeping record at last, with his 180th victim. Mike Morgan** - the previous holder - was in attendance at Ripley a week later to formally, and graciously, pass on the mantle.
The starring roles went to the caterers: Rae-Ann Craig at Wall; Tricia Taylor and Steph Turner at Stanton; and the lovely ladies of Sutton. The hospitality – and the gastronomy – was magnificent.
It was the tour to top all tours. We won, which was largely incidental, but it did make for a clean sweep of travelling victories:
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Cotswolds -
Sat June 22 Kempsford: Won by 179 runs
Sun June 23 Cricklade: Won by 88 runs
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Brittany -
Sat July 27 Nantes: Won by nine wickets
Sun July 28 Des Ormes: Won by six wickets
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Three Counties -
Sat Aug 24 Wall: Won by 45 runs
Sun Aug 25 Stanton: Won by 50 runs
Mon Aug 26 Sutton: Won by nine wickets
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And so on to defeat at The Lee, a heart-stopping draw against Concorde and the disappointing washout of the traditional season’s finale at Pinkneys Green.
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The season saw the passing of many milestones.
*During his innings of 64 at Bledlow, Jono Addis surpassed 5,000 career runs for the Strollers, becoming the fastest player to reach that milestone in a total of 96 innings (the laggardly James Timperley is the second-fastest with 106 innings).
*John Low struck with the ball against Cricklade – returning sensational figures of 5-0-32-1. This was John’s first wicket since 2011 – when he had an analysis of 1-0-6-1 against Jordans Taverners on May 7. He failed to get a bowl between 2012 and 2017, but came roaring back in 2018 with a season’s tally of 3-1-9-0.
*Ivor Fiala marked his 550th game against Wall. Hamish McDougall chalked up his 200th appearance on the same day. Ivor remains stuck on 98 catches – the last of which was taken in 2013. Aidan Selby was moved to gully in the match at Wall – and promptly took a catch which, by rights, should have been Ivor’s. Still, plenty of seasons left to find two more elusive victims...
*Bucket-hands Tom Colbeck equalled the record by taking four outfield catches at The Lee. He kept up that standard with another brilliant diving effort at Concorde.
*Danny John (274 games between 1978 and 1998) dropped in from Sydney to pull on the club colours again and guide son Sam through his Strollers debut against Braywood.
*Finlay Perrin, Justin Fredrickson and Blair Travis were presented with their well-deserved club caps – the iconic baggy burgundy.
* Joe Rigby died. Joe, a talented batsman and leg-break bowler who worked at the Evening News (at the time when the Strollers was born), the Daily Express and the Daily Mail, played 65 games for the club between 1978 and 1996. Peter and Maggie Patston, Ivor Fiala, Hassan Hadi and Simon Brodbeck attended to wish him farewell. His old colleague, Ian Cole, wrote: “You won’t find Joe’s name on the honours board anywhere in Fleet Street, but for reliability, dedication and professionalism he was my idea of the perfect sports sub.”
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Standout performances?
There were centuries for:
Mike Pittams (112 v Warfield; 174no v Kempsford )
Justin Fredrickson (108no v Des Ormes)
Aidan Selby (109no v Bledlow);
Glen Oliver (148no v Cricklade);
Jono Addis (137 v Edgware)
And honourable near-misses by
Mike Loan (95 v West Chiltington and 95 v Ripley)
Plus wickets from:
Jim Hodgson (5-29 v Tadworth; 4-34 v Stanton)
Tom Colbeck (4-9 v Marlow Park); 5-42 v Maidenhead & Bray)
Peter Wood (5-30 v Concorde)
The top guns looked like this after hostilities were concluded on September 22:
|
|
Inns |
No |
Runs |
Av |
|
Pittams |
17 |
4 |
862 |
66.31 |
|
Addis |
11 |
3 |
608 |
76.00 |
|
Oliver |
10 |
4 |
580 |
96.67 |
|
Loan |
6 |
1 |
364 |
72.80 |
|
Selby |
12 |
2 |
350 |
35.00 |
After a ferocious tussle the three main wicket-takers ended 2019 with:
|
|
Overs |
Maidens |
Runs |
Wkts |
Average |
|
Hodgson |
119.0 |
12 |
429 |
28 |
15.32 |
|
Colbeck |
72.4 |
4 |
442 |
27 |
16.37 |
|
Macaulay |
112.4 |
6 |
629 |
23 |
27.35 |
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There was much competition for the Golden Quill for the best match report. There were several inimitable and surreal contributions from Mike Pittams (the Jack Kerouac of the genre). This description of Michael Beale’s bowling bears repeating:
Beale begins his run-up from a distance of about 25 yards, shifting efficiently through the gears and reaching top speed by the time he hits the crease. Clearly he has read somewhere that you want to be hitting the crease hard, so he does exactly that, channelling all of his considerable athleticism to the cause.
At the point of delivery the ball suddenly appears - erstwhile obscured by the crumpled greyish beige of his 'whites', the inept laundering of which I can now see is a tactic to prevent the batsman from ascertaining which is the shiny side, thus which way the ball is liable to reverse - as Beale begins his action.
In a split second, all of the bustling physicality of his run-up screams to a halt, almost as though there is a Manichean clash of ideas going on inside his head and body. As every schoolboy knows, Manichaeism is an elaborate dualistic cosmology describing the struggle between a good, spiritual world of light, and an evil, material world of darkness.
Like an angry dog who has reached the end of its lead, or a particularly pimped out boy racer car confronted by a series of speed humps, all that power and momentum are replaced by static uncertainty. Where just a moment ago a stallion galloped towards the popping crease, suddenly a newborn antelope foal, shaky on its legs and unconfident in the vast Rift Valley full of predators appears. So much speed coming so quickly to a halt makes you immediately worry that he might have twisted an ankle or dislocated a knee.
The delivery of the cricket ball gives you no reason to cast aside that worry. Up soars the ball. Up, up, up. Higher and higher, like a mistimed Te Toiroa Tahuriorangi box kick - or indeed Charlie Bucket and Grandpa Joe after drinking illicit fizzy lifting drink.
Just when you think the shiny pink Dukes is going to enter orbit and never be seen again, down it begins to fall! Down, down, down - like any Stroller's spirits after a long conversation with George Love, trying to comprehend his peculiar brand of gibberish. Reaching speeds of up to 16 miles per hour, the Dukes will pitch either on a length of sorts (where length is defined as around 8 metres - or 14 lengths of John's hands... short of the batsman), or not at all.
The result can vary too - some fours, some sixes, some huuuuuuuuge sixes, and occasionally, when Beale really hits his areas (the full toss into the top of the thigh pad - just below the no ball height), an uncomfortable top edge into no man's land. I may sound like I am mocking him, but have you ever tried to negotiate a ball, roughly twice the weight of a usual cricket ball due to the snow it has accumulated in its journey, falling down on to the top of your thigh pad at an almost vertical angle? The average technique simply does not prepare one for such challenges of batsmanship.
Nick Daly won the prize for the longest report. His two-volume study on the Decline and Rise of the Strollers’ efforts against Braywood left no detail unturned and revealed to a shocked public that brother Mike wears cute ankle socks and salmon-shaded shorts.
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Against Bledlow we posted a mountainous 307-2 (courtesy of 109no from Aidan Selby, 73 from Mike Pittams and 64 from Jono Addis). And lost.
Tom Colbeck took 5-42 against Maidenhead & Bray...and we lost. Tony Colbeck, father of Tom, bought a jug of lager nonetheless.
Addis with 137 and Oliver with 55 made sure we racked up 284-4 against Edgware...but we still lost.
There seems to be a theme developing here – Ed.
Tom Colbeck pouched four outfield catches at The Lee – the pick of which was a diving right-handed effort inches from the floor to dismiss Alex Morgan. As you might have guessed, it was all in vain, as Harry Hutt and his fellow bowlers saw us struggle to 147 all out and a 54-run defeat.
Despite those tantalising defeats, the main object was achieved – to put out sides and compete. Many thanks to all the match managers, who did a magnificent job.
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Glen Oliver continued his travails with the toss. At one point he had recorded one win out of 21 efforts. The probability of calling the toss correctly only once in a sequence of 21 tosses is 0.5^21 times [the number of ways of being correct in the seq of 21 – i.e. 1st, 2nd...21st...ie 21]; which gives a probability ~ 100000 – or to put it slightly simpler: 99,999-1 [statistical research by theoretical physicist Dr Tim Brodbeck (Stroller No 54), late of Lancaster University].
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The midweek side carried all before it (nearly) - thanks to the guiding hands of Richard Keightley, Glen Oliver, Aidan Selby, and Richie Stubbs.
Since the glorious P12 W12 summer of 2015, the midweek side have rarely tasted defeat. In 2016 they lost to L J Clark on July 7. In 2017 they were beaten by Commons Old Boys (May 25) and Tilburg Regents (June 22). In 2018 they were undefeated. But that great run since June 2017 was ended by the Commons Old Boys on June 6, 2019.
Match reporter Richie Stubbs described the breathless hush in the Close that night:
Finally, the last over came round with the last two batsmen in the middle, Fredrickson bowling and seven required. The field was out and then in as the game reached the final ball with the COBs one run behind and three results possible.
Fredrickson bowls a good line, the batsman manages a push towards square leg and they both set off. A shy at the stumps followed, but it missed...no Strollers were backing up (having come in to save one) and the COBs run through for the second and win the game.
Sounds like a last-ball cock-up to me. But who were the guilty men whose shoulders now have to bear the burden of history? Bowler Justin Fredrickson? Mike Pittams? He must have been heavily involved in the heart-stopping drama. Recorded history is politely silent on where the weight of blame should sit.
Four weeks later, in a last-over thriller against Thames Valley, Ivor Fiala showed the 20/20 Flash Harrys the way to do it. Match reporter Glen Oliver wrote:
“A notable exception was veteran weekend Stroller Ivor Fiala, who scored his first runs for the midweek team. He demonstrated exactly how to pace a low chase innings, taking no fewer than 15 balls to score his first run and nearly having a heart attack in the process as he held up an end.”
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There were some welcome debutants:
*George Love, who arrived with an effervescent bang, but then disappeared on his European travels.
* James Dela Rue made light of taking 3-11 on his debut at Valley End.
*Leon Harvey chose to face a fine attack at The Lee but came back for more at Concorde despite the mental scarring.
* Pickle (taking over from Oonagh, although nobody can) made her Strollers entrance; her toilet training is a work in progress.
*Paul Holden, Rhys Williams, Sam John, Archie White and Oli White appeared briefly. Chris Guest reappeared...only to disappear again.
*Not to mention Luke Malpass and Bengy Barsanti, who turned out for the NZ Exiles.
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Tim and Nicola Swan (along with Matthew and Emelie) returned to NZ after seven years of Strolling. Thanks for your company...we wish you well.
The Salt ‘n’ Pepper Princess otherwise known as Rob (“I’m really a batsman” you know) Wall, made his royal presence felt and bravely struggled against the disadvantage of wearing alarmingly tight shirts – thought to be the result of a defective washing machine at Wall Towers..
A toast was drunk to Peter and Maggie Patston in The Green Dragon at Cowley. The citation read: “In Peter Patston’s 644 Strollers matches he has disposed of 984 bottles of merlot - that’s a staggering strike rate of 7.639 glasses per match. Figures that no one will overtake.”
The real heroes of the season were, as usual, the match managers. Despite all the problems [15 players one week, eight the next] and all the flimsy excuses [“It’s my mother-in-law’s birthday”...”I’ve been called away to a golf course in Turkey”...”I’ve got this pain in my arm”…"I am in A&E with appendicitis"] they ploughed their way through a torrent of emails and the CRISIS! CRISIS! messages to put 11 bodies on the field. Their patience and untiring efforts are much appreciated.
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After all that, Neville Cardus - like Charles Dickens before him - probably had the FSSCC in mind when he gazed upon the ebbing day as dusk fell at Send in what turned out to be the final game of the season:
“It was late September and the outfield lay silent in the evening sunshine. I stayed for a while in the failing light and saw birds run over the grass as the mists began to spread. That day we had watched the Strollers in all their glory batting their way through 182 felicitous runs...It was all over and gone now, as I stood on the little field alone in the glow of the declining day and watched the passing of summer.”
The Strollers Exiles will look to break their duck on Kiwi soil at Bottom Paddock on February 16 and the domestic season begins at Great Missenden on Sunday April 19. Not long to go.
See you in 2020...
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*For the benefit of our younger readers, James Timperley played 179 games between 2007 and 2018, scoring 8,447 runs at an average of 68.67. He retired to New Zealand at the end of the 2018 season with a stress-related condition (the strain of leading the side on 104 occasions).
**Mike Morgan played 222 matches between 2003 and 2018, claiming 179 victims behind the stumps, before retiring to the South Downs and a second career as a purveyor of full English breakfasts and loopy leg-breaks. [Dear Editor: That should read "aggressive leg-breaks" - Michael Morgan]
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Please send any corrections or additions
to match reporter Simon Brodbeck.
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